Mad #384 August 1999

• Cover Artist: Mort Drucker

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• Ad promoting next issue #385 (C2)
• Contents Page (1-3)
• "On their deathbed, no one ever wished they had
  spent more time at the office - or on their deathbed,
  for that matter!" -- Alfred E. Neuman
• Ad for Super Special August 1999 #139 - Ecch! Rated Mad
• Letters (photo of Alex Trebek with #380)
  (promo for Totally Mad CD-Roms due Fall 1999) (4-5)
  • Martin Nguyen - address withheld
  • Celebrity Snap with #374 -
    Tou-Liang Chang (with Yo Yo Ma) - Singapore
  • 14 Years Ago in Mad - One Dark Afternoon in Edmonton
    Don Martin from #257
  • P.C. W. - Honolulu, HI
  • Jonathan Gratzer - Best of 1998 list - Ontario, Canada
• Sergio Aragones Drawn-Out Dramas
  **various places around the magazine
• Mild Mild Mess (movie satire)
  (written by Dick DeBartolo / Mort Drucker art) (6-10)
• MTV's Real Real World Casting Questionnaire
  (written by Mike Snider / Drew Friedman art) (11-13)
• The Basic Differences Between Parents & Grandparents
  (John Caldwell) (14-15)
• The Lost Poetry of Jewel
  (written by Desmond Devlin / Yvonne Buchanan art) (16-17)
• A Mad Look at Veterinarians (Sergio Aragones) (18-20)
• Bulging Man - The Magazine for the Man Who Wants to Bulge (written by Scott Maiko / Scott Bricher art)
  (Irving Schild and Sean Kahlil photos) (21-28)
• Unspoken Rules of Double Dating
  (written by Desmond Devlin / Timothy Shamey art) (29-31)
• Spy vs. Spy - last resort gate chop (Peter Kuper) (32-33)
• U.S.S. Desperation Singles Cruise
  (written by Barry Liebmann / Tom Bunk art) (34-35)
• A TV Commercial We'd Like To See -
  MasterFraud - Part One
  (written by Frank Jacobs / Irving Schild photos) (36)
• Monroe &... Goth
  (written by Anthony Barbieri / Bill Wray art) (37-40)
• A TV Commercial We'd Like To See -
  MasterFraud - Part Two (41)
  (written by Frank Jacobs / Irving Schild photos)
• The Faketrix (movie satire)
  (written by Dick DeBartolo / Angelo Torres art) (42-47)
• Mad's Celebrity Cause-Of-Death Betting Odds: Will Smith (written by Mike Snider / Hermann Mejia art) (48)
• Fold-In -- What dire situation is law
  enforcement failing to control? (Al Jaffee) (C3)
• Back Cover -- forgot milk? (ad parody)
  (written by John Prete)