MAD #539 — June 2016

"Most of the talk around the water cooler is about how it's the only water that's safe to drink!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Ad for MAD on Android Phones and Tablets
  C2
• Contents Page

  It's the List We Can Do Dept.
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • Hillary Clinton with MAD #537, John Caldwell tribute, Gordon Ramsay holds MAD #536
  2–4
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• Ads for MAD Spoofs the '80s and for Subscriptions with MAD #63 bonus print
  5
• The Fundalini Pages

  Random Acts of Mindless Dept.

  • Facts and Figures from the 2016 Election — Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by John Martz
  • The Fast Five — How Kanye Plans to Get Out of Debt —
    Written by Matt Lassen / Art by Rick Tulka
  • The Hart of the Matt-er — running with bulls and scissors
    (Written by Matt Lassen / Art by Tom Hart)
  • Facebook “Reactions” We Actually Need
  • A Comic-Book Movie No One Cares About — J. Jonah Jameson vs. Perry White —
    Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Mike Loew
  • Other Uses for Gauged Earlobes — Written by Evan Waite / Art by Kevin Pope
  • What's Taking George R.R. Martin So Long to Write the Next Game of Thrones Book? — Written by Kenny Keil / Art by Stephen Silver
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD Spoofs Sci-Fi and Fantasy — Special Collector's Edition 2018
  • The Faster Five — Upsides to the Robot Apocalypse —
    Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Bob Staake
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD #30 — April 2023
  • Mattel Introduces the “Body-Accurate” Ken Doll
  • The Squeaky Wheeler — Make-A-Wish Foundation (Shannon Wheeler)
  • An Apology Letter We'd Like to See — Lumber Exterminators — Written by Dick DeBartolo
  • The Zany Zero — Lessons America Has Learned from the Most Recent Mass Shooting — Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Ward Sutton
  • Oy Vey! — “some sort of malware” (P. C. Vey)
  • Reasons Why Dos Equis is Replacing the Most Interesting Man in the World —
    Art by Josh Mecouch
  • Kids Who Won't Be Appearing on Ellen Anytime Soon —
    Written by Kenny Keil / Art by Anton Emdin
  6–8, 10
• Ad for Spy vs. Spy: An Explosive Celebration
  9
• Ad for Back Issues on the iPad App
  11
• The Trumpalini Pages

  • The Startling Similarities and Differences Between Donald Trump and Pope Francis —
    Art by Hermann Mejia
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD About Trump — 2017
  • The Nifty Nine — Things Trump Did When He Skipped the Fox Debate —
    Art by Hermann Mejia
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD About Trump — 2017
  • Hats Off to Trump for Denouncing The KKK — Art by Hermann Mejia
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD About Trump — 2017
  • Why We Like the Idea of Melania Trump as First Lady —
    Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Hermann Mejia
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD About Trump — 2017
  12
• Star Bores: The Snores Awaken (movie satire)

  Han So-Long Dept.

  Written by David Richards / Art by Tom Richmond

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Spoofs Star Wars and Other Sci-Fi — Special Collector's Edition 2017
  • MAD Spoofs Star Wars — Special Collector's Edition 2019
  13–21
• A MAD Look At Man Caves

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones / Color by Tom Luth

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Treasure Trove of Trash — Vol. 10 — Jan/Feb 2025
  22–25
• Chilling Thoughts: 2016 Edition

  The Fright Stuff Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Jonathan Edwards
  26–27
• A Strand-By-Strand Examination of Obama's Gray Hairs

  Legends of the Follicle Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Sam Sisco
  28–29
• Spy vs. Spy — poiuyt cannon / raygun seat into ceiling trick

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Treasure Trove of Trash — Vol. 10 — Jan/Feb 2025
  30–31
• The Darker Side of The Lighter Side

  Berg's-Eye Askew Dept.

  Dave Berg originals / uncredited altered dialogue
  32–34
• MAD's Stress-Inducing Adult Coloring Book

  Shading-Fraud Dept.

  Art by Timothy Shamey

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD #602 — December 2026
  35–38
• The Strip Club

  Pen and Stink Dept.

  • Almost Perfect Universe (Dakota McFadzean)
  • How's My Driving? (Nathan Cooper)
  • Scribble Mountain (John McNamee)
  • Mister Morals & Son (Lance Hansen)
  • It Only Hurts When I Laugh (Christopher Baldwin)
  • Shishka Bob (John Kovaleski)
  • talk talk talk (Tony Murphy)
  • The Bearded Kid (Kevin Werth)
  • WTF, Jeff? or My Roommate Might Be a Serial Killer
    (Written by Kit Lively / Art by Scott Nickel)
  39–42
• MAD's Depressingly Realistic Shopping Cart

  Store Losers Dept.

  Written by Leah Prinzivalli / Art by Rich Powell
  43 sample
• Planet TAD!!!!!

  In Blog We Trust Dept.

  Written by Tim Carvell
  44–45
• Ad for various MAD Books
  46–47
• One Day at the Eating Championship

  Esophagus Now Dept.

  Written by Lance Hansen and Kit Lively / Art by Tom Bunk

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Treasure Trove of Trash — Vol. 10 — Jan/Feb 2025
  48
• Banana Republican: 2016 Campaign Collection (catalogue parody)

  The Elephant in the Dressing Room Dept.

  Written by Frank Santopadre and Evan Waite / Art by Scott Bricher

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD About Trump — 2017
  49–52 sample
• The MAD Vault

  Rotten to the Encore Dept.

  Article from MAD #480: If Chickens Could Time Travel — John Caldwell
  53–55
• Adele: The Complete Catalogue

  Diva-lution Dept.

  Peter Kuper
  56
• Fold-In — What group has the worst drinking problem?

  All Jaffee Dept.

  Al Jaffee
  C3
• Back Cover — Authentics — Real Cigarettes for Real Addicts!

  Written by Nathan Cooper
  C4