MAD #282 — October 1988

"The reason money doesn't grow on trees is because the banks own all the branches!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Ad for Super Special #66 — Spring 1989 — Parents vs. Kids
  C2
• Contents Page
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • Photo of Mort Drucker receiving the 1988 Reuben Award from Charles Schulz, Ad for Subscriptions featuring Mort Drucker's MAD Show-Stoppers and MAD's MADdest Writer Dick DeBartolo Presents Here's MAD in Your Eye Big Book Bonuses, Ad for Sergio Aragones' More MAD Pantomimes Paperback
  2–3
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• Star Blecch — The Next Degradation (TV satire)

  Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enterprise Dept.

  Written by Frank Jacobs / Art by Mort Drucker

  Reprinted in 4 collections

  • MAD Special #83 — September 1992
  • MAD Star Trek Spectacular — 1994
  • MAD #502 — January 2010 — MAD Vault (excerpt)
  • MAD Spoofs Sci-Fi and Fantasy — Special Collector's Edition 2018
  4–8
• The Perilous Pioneer Predicament

  Tales from the Duck Side Dept.

  Don (Duck) Edwing

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Special #109 — December 1995
  • MAD XL #15 — June 2002
  • 1001 MAD Pages You Must Read Before You Die — 2009
  9–10
• A Beginner's Guide to Cartoon Sound Effects

  Schtick It in Your Ear Dept.

  Written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.

  Reprinted in 5 collections

  • MAD Special #92 — March 1994
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — 2000
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — The Mother Load — 2004
  • MAD #28 — December 2022
  • 70th Anniversary Issue — Vol. 3 — December 2022 — B&N Edition
  11–13
• Hot Albums of the 1990's... A Look Back

  Rock to the Future Dept.

  Written by Russ Cooper / Art by Rick Tulka

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Special #93 — May 1994
  14–15
• The Chic Glitz Home Study Institute for the Discovery of Hidden Talents in the Field of Writing Children's Books

  An Embarrassment of Richard's Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo

  Reprinted in 5 collections

  • MAD Special #95 — September 1994
  • MAD XL #4 — July 2000
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — 2000
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — The Mother Load — 2004
  • 1001 MAD Pages You Must Read Before You Die — 2009
  16
• The MAD Nasty File — Volume III

  Along the Snide Lines Dept.

  Written by Tom Koch / Art by Gerry Gersten

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Special #95 — September 1994
  • MAD #502 — January 2010 — MAD Vault (excerpt)
  • Totally MAD — 2012
  17–19
• Spy vs. Spy — building-climber wheel of suction cups

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Art by Bob Clarke

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Special #90 — November 1993
  • Spy Vs. Spy 2 — The Joke and Dagger Files — 2007
  20
• Gift Catalog for Spoiled Rotten Pets

  Tail-Order Shopping Dept.

  Paul Peter Porges

  Reprinted in 6 collections

  • Completely MAD — 1991 (excerpt)
  • MAD Special #92 — March 1994
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — The Gushing Fourth Edition — 2004
  • MAD #24 — April 2022
  • MAD Treasure Trove of Trash — Vol. 1 — May/June 2022
  • MAD Fixes Cats — Special Collector's Edition 2025
  21–23
• The Battle of Oprah and Phil

  Frank on a Roll Dept.

  Written by Frank Jacobs / Art by Jack Davis

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Special #90 — November 1993
  • MAD Art — 2002 (excerpt)
  24–25 sample
• A MAD Look at Staying Cool

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones

  Reprinted in 4 collections

  • MAD Special #93 — May 1994
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — 2000
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — The Mother Load — 2004
  • The MAD Summer Survival Guide — 2004
  26–28
• Double Damp (TV satire)

  The Maim Game Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo / Art by Angelo Torres

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Special #111 — March 1996
  29–32
• The Terrible Toilet Trauma

  Tales from the Duck Side Dept.

  Don (Duck) Edwing

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Special #90 — November 1993
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — 2000
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — The Mother Load — 2004
  33
• The MAD Guide to “Forgivable” and “Unforgivable” Sins

  Catching Them Off God Dept.

  Written by Stan Hart / Art by Mort Drucker

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Special #93 — May 1994
  • MAD #502 — January 2010 — MAD Vault (excerpt)
  34–35
• The Lighter Side of...

  Berg's-Eye View Dept.

  Dave Berg

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Special #93 — May 1994
  • The MAD Student Survival Guide — 2002 (excerpt)
  36–40
• MAD Visits the C.I.A.

  A Night at the Operatives Dept.

  Written by Lou Silverstone / Art by Angelo Torres

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Special #90 — November 1993
  41–44
• Alf's Celebrity Cat Cookbook

  The Fur Will Fry Dept.

  Written by John Prete / Art by Sam Viviano

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Special #98 — Mid Summer 1994
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — The Gushing Fourth Edition — 2004
  • MAD Fixes Cats — Special Collector's Edition 2025
  45–47
• MAD's Index

  Harper's Bizarre Dept.

  Written by Frank Jacobs and Mike Snider

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Special #90 — November 1993
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — The Gushing Fourth Edition — 2004
  48
• Fold-In — What hurdle must all Olympic athletes pass as they go for the gold?

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Special #115 — September 1996
  • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964–2010 — 2011
  C3
• Back Cover — MAD's All-Star Flopps

  Art by Richard Williams

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Special #95 — September 1994
  • MAD About the Eighties — 1999
  • MAD Art — 2002
  C4