Mad #349 September 1996

• Cover Artist: C. F. Payne

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• Subscription Ad - Why Kill Yourself?
  (archery target - redrawn from #173)
  (written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Paul Coker, Jr. art) (C2)
• Contents Page (1)
• Ad for Mad Bytes It! CD-ROM in upcoming issue #350
• Letters (2-3)
• Ad for Super Special October 1996 - Big Bad Mad #3
• Mad Whozits? (written by Mike Snider)
  **various places around the magazine
• Sergio Aragones Drawn-Out Dramas
  **various places around the magazine
• Twit-sters (movie satire)
  (written by Arnie Kogen / Paul Coker, Jr. art) (4-9)
• A Mad Look at Do-It-Yourselfers (Sergio Aragones) (10-12)
• More Viewer Poll Questions the
  Miss America Pageant Should be Asking
  (written by Mike Snider / Rick Tulka art) (13-15)
• Sure-Fire Signs There Won't be a Second Date
  (John Caldwell) (16-17)
• A Mad Look at State-of-the-Art
  "Advances" in Artificial Stupidity
  (written by Mike Snider / Glenn Barr art) (18-19)
• The Lighter Side of... (Dave Berg) (20-24)
• Maternity Girl (song parody of Madonna's Material Girl)
  (written by Frank Jacobs / Leslie Sternbergh art) (25)
• Mad's Presidential Campaign Watcher's Checklist
  (written by Mike Snider / Drew Friedman art) (26-28)
• The Dopey Dungeon Debacle (Don (Duck) Edwing) (29)
• Games City Kids Play (30-32)
  (written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Michael Paraskevas art)
• Jerkules and Zima (TV satire)
  (written by Dick DeBartolo / Angelo Torres art) (33-28)
• Little Known Facts About
  America's Hottest Tourist Attractions
  (written by Andrew J. Schwartzberg / Tom Bunk art) (39-41)
• Spy Vs. Spy - bomb by fax
  (written by Michael Gallagher / Dave Manak art) (42-43)
• Mad's Gambler of the Year
  (written by Mike Snider / George Woodbridge art) (44-48)
• Fold-In -- What dangerous crop is emerging
  as a serious threat to our society? (Al Jaffee) (C3)
• Back Cover -- Mad Salutes the 1996
  Presidential Race and Its Corporate Sponsors
  (written by Frank Jacobs / Glenn Harrington art)