MAD #377 — January 1999

"You can't hurry love — but you can move up the wedding to accommodate the baby's arrival!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Ad for Subscriptions

  Joe Devito art from #365
  C2
• Contents Page
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • Celebrity Snap with #371 and #372 with members of the band Barenaked Ladies / New York Daily News swipes "What, Me Worry?" motto / Ad for Super Special #134 — MAD Stocking Stuffer
  2–3
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• The Incredible Hanson Story, From Start to Finish!

  The Three Little Prigs Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Timothy Shamey
  4–6
• Melvin & Jenkins Guide to Music Appreciation

  The Schmucks Stop Here Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Kevin Pope

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • LifeSavers Kickerz Presents — The MAD Guide to the Sour and Sweet of Life — 2002
  • MAD Classics #6 — April 2006
  • Intensely Dumb MAD — 2013
  7–9 sample
• 6 Degrees of Separation Between Anyone and Anything — Part III

  The Dissing Link Dept.

  Written by Mike Snider / Art by Rick Tulka

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD XL #32 — March 2005
  10–11
• MAD's Realistic Food Guide Pyramid for College Students

  And the Eat Goes On Dept.

  Written by Dennis Snee / Art by Timothy Shamey

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD XL #33 — June 2005
  12
• The Lighter Side of...

  Berg's-Eye View Dept.

  Dave Berg
  13–16
• The MAD 20 Dumbest People, Events and Things of 1998

  (introduction page)

  Featuring /

  • 1. Monicagate — "Starr Wars" (Star Wars movie poster parody) — Art by Mark Stutzman

    Reprinted in 8 collections

    • MAD 50 Years of Stupidity! — 2002
    • MAD Art — 2002
    • MAD About the '90s — 2005
    • MAD About Star Wars — 2007
    • MAD About Politics — 2008
    • Totally MAD — 2012
    • The Best of the Worst! — Special Collector's Edition 2012
    • Totally Inside MAD — 2016

    18
  • 2. "James Cameron's Titanic Oscar Speech" — Written by Charlie Kadau / Art by Marshall Vandruff 19
  • 3. Seinfeld's Endless Farewell — "Seinfeld by the Numbers" — Written by Mike Snider and Scott Maiko / Art by Drew Friedman

    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD Art — 2002

    20
  • 4. The PGA Tees Off On a Gimp — "The Real Reasons the PGA Doesn't Want Casey Martin to Drive a Golf Cart" — John Caldwell 21
  • 5. The Flag Burning Amendment That Won't Die — "Your Congressmen Explain Their Stance on the Flag-Burning Amendment" — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Tom Bunk 20–21
  • 6. Software That Sucks — "A Windows 98 Ad We'd Like to See" — Written by Dick DeBartolo / Photo by Irving Schild 22 sample
  • 7. Astro-Geezers — "A MAD Look at John Glenn in Space" — Sergio Aragones 23
  • 8. Ally McBeal Mania — "A Court Case We'd Like to See" — Written by Scott Maiko / Art by Mort Drucker 23
  • 9. Rodman & Malone's Pro Wrestling Sideshow — "A Peek Behind the Scenes at WCW's Bash at the Beach" — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Grey Blackwell 24–25
  • 10. Ginger Spice Takes a Hike — "Geri Halliwell: One Year Later" — Tom Hachtman 25
  • 11. The Viagra Feeding Frenzy — "Four Quickies on Viagra" — Mort Gerberg 24–25
  • 12. South Park — "An Interview With Trey Parker and Matt Stone We'd Like to See" — Written by Scott Maiko / Art by Grey Blackwell 26
  • 13. Norm "Crybaby" McDonald — "Norm McDonald Lost His Job" (Old MacDonald Had a Farm song parody) — Written by Andrew J. Schwartzberg / Art by Mort Drucker 27
  • 14. Bogus News — "MAD's All-Purpose Media Retraction" — Written by Frank Jacobs 27
  • 15. The Sultan of So-What — "Mark McGwire Timeline to History" — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Paul Coker, Jr. 28–29
  • 16. The Tobacco Bill Goes Up In Smoke — "Ways Big Tobacco Hopes to Save Their Butts" — John Caldwell 28
  • 17. Estrogen Rock — "Rock Concerts Vs. Lilith Fair" — Written by Anthony Barbieri / Art by Timothy Shamey 29
  • 18. Trash TV — "The Jerry Springer Show Intern 'To Do' List" — Written by Scott Maiko / Art by Rick Tulka 30
  • 19. Marv Albert Sinks His Teeth Into a New Job — "Hey Hey Hey, It's Marv Albert!" — Written by David Shayne and Joe Raiola / Art by Sam Viviano 31
  • 20. Right-Wing Gay Bashing — "A Newspaper Ad We'd Like to See" — Written by John Prete / Photos by Irving Schild 32 sample
  17
• Spy vs. Spy — mountain summit missile

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • Spy Vs. Spy 2 — The Joke and Dagger Files — 2007
  33–34
• Step-By-Step Guide to Making Your Own Infomercial

  Go With the Flobee Dept.

  Written by Rob Wipond / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #7 — June 2006
  35–37
• Monroe &... The School Trip — Part II

  Angster's Paradise Dept.

  Written by Anthony Barbieri / Art by Bill Wray
  38–39
• Who's Who at a Star Trek Convention

  Nerds of a Feather Dept.

  Written by Barry Liebmann / Art by Sergio Aragones

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD XL #32 — March 2005
  • MAD Spoofs Sci-Fi and Fantasy — Special Collector's Edition 2018
  40–41
• The Ambivalence Chaser — A Not-So-Grand Jury Testimony

  Party of the First Parse Dept.

  Written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Video capture by David P. Levin

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD XL #6 — November 2000
  42
• Jab (TV satire)

  A Show of Military Farce Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo / Art by Angelo Torres

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD XL #29 — August 2004
  43–47
• MAD's Celebrity Cause-Of-Death Betting Odds: David Hasselhoff

  Grieving Las Vegas Dept.

  Written by Mike Snider / Art by Hermann Mejia
  48
• Fold-In — What attraction drew fans to the ballpark in record numbers this year?

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964–2010 — 2011
  C3
• Back Cover — Season's Greetings from the NRA

  Art by Scott Bricher

  Reprinted in 4 collections

  • MAD Art — 2002
  • Inside MAD — 2013
  • MAD Picks — Special Collector's Edition 2013
  • Totally Inside MAD — 2016
  C4