MAD #379 — March 1999

"Any dentist who says ‘This won't hurt a bit’ is lying through your teeth!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Subscription Ad — “Dan Brown” dressed as a bride

  Written by Joe Raiola / Photos by Irving Schild
  C2
• Contents Page
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • Photo of Gene Siskel visiting three guys at MAD: Charles Kochman, Nick Meglin, and John Ficarra, Jesse Ventura Celebrity Snap with MAD #370, Ad for Super Special March 1999 #135 — Ecch! Rated
  2–3
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• Kharma & Dreg (TV satire)

  Opposites Attacked Dept.

  Written by Josh Gordon / Art by Angelo Torres

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD XL #31 — January 2005
  4–9
• MAD's TV Expert Quiz

  Crossing the Channel Surfers Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Rick Geary

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD XL #30 — November 2004
  10–11
• Monroe &... The Man

  Angster's Paradise Dept.

  Written by Anthony Barbieri / Art by Bill Wray
  12–15
• MAD Tags Along on a Typical Date with Chelsea Clinton

  Daughter World Dept.

  Written by Mike Mikula / Art by Sam Viviano

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD XL #32 — March 2005
  16–17
• The MAD World of Yo-Yos — Part I: In the Beginning

  Spinning is the Only Thing Dept.

  Written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Art by Al Jaffee
  18
• The Lighter Side of...

  Berg's-Eye View Dept.

  Dave Berg

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD XL #30 — November 2004
  19–22
• The MAD World of Yo-Yos — Part II: An Idea Gone Bad

  Spinning is the Only Thing Dept.

  Written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Art by Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • The MAD Gross Book — 2001
  23
• The MAD Repertory Players Present MAD-sterpiece Theater: The Home Schlocking Network's “Beanie Baby Hour”

  Living Off the Fad of the Land Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Tom Bunk

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD XL #30 — November 2004
  24–25
• Even Yet Still More Badly Needed CD Warning Labels For Rock Albums

  Disc-claimers Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD XL #31 — January 2005
  26–29
• More MAD Morphs

  Altered Egos Dept.

  Written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Art by Hermann Mejia

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD XL #32 — March 2005
  30–31 sample
• The MAD World of Yo-Yos — Part III: Simple Tricks Any Yo-Yo Can Do

  Spinning is the Only Thing Dept.

  Written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Art by Al Jaffee
  32
• The Special Prosecutor's Official Report on Mister Rogers

  The Irrational Inquirer Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Drew Friedman

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD About TV — 1999
  • MAD About the '90s — 2005
  • Totally MAD — 2012
  33–37
• What To Do With Your Yo-Yo When the Fad Dies

  Stick a Fork in Them, They're Duncan Dept.

  John Caldwell

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD #34 — December 2023
  • MAD Treasure Trove of Trash — Vol. 7 — December 2023
  38–39
• The Late Night Spree of Saul Devere

  Frank on a Roll Dept.

  Written by Frank Jacobs / Art by George Woodbridge
  (with extreme apologies to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)
  40
• Whattabore (movie satire)

  Adam's Ribbed Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo / Art by Timothy Shamey

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Color Classics #11 — April 2005
  • MAD Classics #17 — September 2007
  41–44
• A MAD Look at Parades

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  45–47
• MAD's Celebrity Cause-Of-Death Betting Odds: Monica Lewinsky

  Grieving Las Vegas Dept.

  Written by Mike Snider / Art by Hermann Mejia
  48
• Fold-In — What extreme ‘sport’ has unfortunately been growing in popularity despite its violence?

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Classics #8 — July 2006
  • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964–2010 — 2011
  C3
• Back Cover — Spy vs. Spy — sharpened elevator doors

  Written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Art by Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 4 collections

  • Spy Vs. Spy — The Complete Casebook — Antonio Prohias — 2001
  • MAD Classics #2 — September 2005
  • Spy Vs. Spy — Omnibus — Antonio Prohias — 2011
  • Spy vs. Spy — Fight to the Finish — 2013
  C4