MAD #380 — April 1999

"Telephone psychics are better at making fortunes than reading them!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Subscription Ad — “Dan Brown” dressed as a nun

  Written by Joe Raiola / Irving Schild photos
  C2
• Contents Page
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • MAD readers send in unsolicited photos of themselves, Ad for Super Special April 1999 #136 — Ultra MAD
  2–3
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• Star Blecch: Imperfection (movie satire)

  Make It So-So Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo / Art by Mort Drucker

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #1 — August 2005
  4–8
• Clues You've Chosen a Really Bad Funeral Parlor

  Dead Nab Squawking Dept.

  John Caldwell

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD XL #30 — November 2004
  • 1001 MAD Pages You Must Read Before You Die — 2009
  9–11
• How Monica Lewinsky Changed the World

  An Intern for the Worse Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Spoofs the 90s — Special Collector's Edition 2014
  12–14
• Steve Grieve's Official Catalog of Rare, Unaffordable Rock & Roll Memorabilia

  Generation X-ploit Dept.

  Written by David Shayne and Joe Raiola / Art by Timothy Shamey

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD XL #32 — March 2005
  15–18 sample
• The Television Commercial

  For Whom the Taco Bell Tolls Dept.

  Sergio Aragones

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD #35 — February 2024
  19
• Spy vs. Spy — yawning is contagious

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Art by Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • Spy Vs. Spy 2 — The Joke and Dagger Files — 2007
  20–22
• 11 Ways Jeopardy! Contestants Can Really Piss Off Alex Trebek

  Please Phrase Your Answer as a Form of Aggression Dept.

  Written by Charlie Richards / Art by David O'Keefe

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD About TV — 1999
  • Intensely Dumb MAD — 2013
  23–26
• The Lighter Side of...

  Berg's-Eye View Dept.

  Dave Berg

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD XL #30 — November 2004
  • MAD's Greatest Artists: Dave Berg — 2013
  27–30
• A MAD Look at Nurses

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  31–33
• Monroe &… The Walk-A-Thon

  Angster's Paradise Dept.

  Written by Anthony Barbieri / Art by Bill Wray
  34–37
• Responses to Kids' Letters to Socks and Buddy

  It's Writing Cats and Dogs Dept.

  Written by John Caldwell / Art by James Warhola

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Spoofs Politics — Special Collector's Edition 2014
  38–40
• Flushmore (movie satire)

  Movie of the Geek Dept.

  Written by Stan Hart / Art by Angelo Torres

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD XL #31 — January 2005
  41–44
• MAD's Parental Guide to Internet Websites

  Two Thumbs Download Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Charles Akins

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD XL #31 — January 2005
  45–47
• MAD's Celebrity Cause-of-Death Betting Odds: Howard Stern

  Grieving Las Vegas Dept.

  Written by Mike Snider / Art by Hermann Mejia

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD XL #29 — August 2004
  48
• Fold-In — What is the one offensive statistic pro basketball players don't want to see publicized?

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD XL #27 — June 2004
  • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964–2010 — 2011
  C3
• Back Cover — What a Jerk!

  Written by Michael Gallagher / Art by Tom Bunk

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • The MAD Gross Book — 2001
  • MAD #547 — October 2017 — The MAD Vault
  • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor — Vol. 1 — Apr/May 2025
  C4