MAD #436 — December 2003

"Youth is like money — it's only after it's gone that you finally realize how you should have spent it!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Contents Page
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • Photos of John Ficarra, Dick DeBartolo, and Drew Friedman at the New York is Book Country book signing
  2, 4, 6
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• Is Our World Really All That Different From The Matrix?

  Parallel Barbs Dept.

  Written by Greg Leitman / Art by Tom Richmond
  8–10
• MAD Readers Fondly Remember Their Favorite Dysfunctional Family Thanksgiving Moments

  A Serving of Dark Meet Dept.

  John Caldwell

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • 1001 MAD Pages You Must Read Before You Die — 2009
  12–14 sample
• 2-Letter Video Labels MTV Should Use

  Description for Disaster Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin
  16–18
• More Pleasant Little Thoughts That Might Help You Sleep Better at Night

  Notion Sickness Dept.

  Written by David Shayne / Art by Ray Alma
  20–21
• Monroe and... The Matrix

  Angster's Paradise Dept.

  Written by Anthony Barbieri / Art by Bill Wray
  22–25
• A Series of Uneventful Misfortunes — The Similar Sequel — by Lemony Snicket

  Crossing the Snicket Line Dept.

  Written by Dave Croatto / Art by Gary Hallgren

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • Amazingly Stupid MAD — 2012
  • Amazingly Stupid MAD — Expanded Edition — 2013
  27–34
• Spy vs. Spy — island mine

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • Spy Vs. Spy 2 — The Joke and Dagger Files — 2007
  • Spy vs. Spy — The Top Secret Files — 2011
  • MAD Presents Spy vs. Spy — January 2011
  36–37
• Sure Signs That Your School is Under-Funded

  Dread of the Class Dept.

  Written by Jacob Lambert / Art by Hermann Mejia
  38–40
• Absolute Latest, Up-to-the-Minute Pick-Up Lines

  Canned Openers Dept.

  Written by Mike Snider / Art by Tom Bunk
  42–43
• The On-Screen / Off-Screen Videogame Sound Effects Comparison Guide

  Noise Will Be Noise Dept.

  Written by Russ Cooper / Art by Scott Bricher and Kevin Pope
  44–46
• A MAD Look at Bars

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  48–51
• An Urgent Warning For All Internet Users From AOL (ad parody)

  An Embarrassment of Richard's Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo
  52
• MAD's Unreal Outtakes from The Matrix Revolutions

  Keanu Hear Me Now? Dept.

  Written by Greg Leitman
  54–56
• Norigami — The Ancient Japanese Art of Paper Unfolding

  Sheet Happens Dept.

  Written by Danno Sullivan
  57
• If 24 Really Depicted What Life Would Be Like for America's First Black President

  Snide and Prejudice Dept.

  Written by Mike Mikula / Art by Timothy Shamey
  58–59
• Fold-In — What has turned out to be this year's biggest work of fiction?

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • The MAD War on Bush — 2007
  • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964–2010 — 2011
  C3