MAD #439 — March 2004

"The only time most people are modest is in describing their own faults!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Contents Page
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • Ad for MAD About the Oscars book; John Caldwell does a fan's caricature
  2–4
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• The Fundalini Pages

  Random Acts of Mindless Dept.

  Friends of Fundalini Notes

  • "Friends of Fundalini" list of contributors not originally attached to the articles in this section: Ray Alma, Scott Bricher, Desmond Devlin, Evan Dorkin, Garth Gerhart, Tom Nick Cocotos, Arie Kaplan, Jeff Kruse, Scott Maiko, Kevin Pope, Mike Snider, Jack Syracuse, Bill Wray — DETAILS

  • 9 Questions We'd Like to Ask Saddam Hussein
    Reprinted in 2 collections

    • Totally MAD — 2012
    • MAD Dumps on Trump and other Unlikeable Leaders! — Special Collector's Edition 2018
  • The Cover We Didn't Use — Alfred E. Neuman Cow — "In this issue we probe The Simple Life" — Ray Alma art
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • Totally MAD — 2012
  • Bitterman — wasting time playing video games — Garth Gerhart
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • Totally MAD — 2012
  • Celebrity Cause of Death Betting Odds — Jessica Simpson — Written by Mike Snider / Art by Jack Syracuse
    Reprinted in 2 collections

    • White Castle Goes MAD — 2005
    • Totally MAD — 2012
  • Video Game Corner — How the Top Game Consoles Compare: A Consumer's Guide — Written by Jeff Kruse
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • Totally MAD — 2012
  • Monkeys Are Always Funny — George W. Bush Serves Turkey to the Troops — Evan Dorkin
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • Totally MAD — 2012
  • The Godfrey Report
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • Totally MAD — 2012
  • Melvin & Jenkins' Guide to Winter Frolic — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Kevin Pope
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • Totally MAD — 2012
  • Oscar by the Numbers
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • Totally MAD — 2012
  • The Fast 5 — The 5 Darkest Secrets Discovered in Rush Limbaugh's Medical Records — Tom Nick Cocotos art
  • Gangsta Rapper or IRA Extremist? — Written by Arie Kaplan / Art by Scott Bricher
    Reprinted in 3 collections

    • The Freebie MAD — 2005
    • The Freebie MAD — 2005
    • Totally Useless MAD — 2013
  • Classified Ads — Kitty Rescue — Written by Scott Maiko
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • Intensely Dumb MAD — 2013
  • Graphic Novel Review — Cathy: Revenge of the Chocoholic by Cathy Guisewite and Frank Miller — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Bill Wray
    Reprinted in 3 collections

    • MAD About Super Heroes — Volume 2 — 2010
    • MAD About Super Heroes — Version 2.5 — 2012
    • Special Loot Crate Edition of MAD — May 2015
  6–8
• Masochist Commander: On the Farce Side of the World (movie satire)

  Nothing to Crowe About Dept.

  Written by Arnie Kogen / Art by Angelo Torres / Color by Wildstorm

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Spoofs Movie Classics — Special Collector's Edition 2015
  10–15
• The Valet Parking Attendant's Secret Oath

  Road Scholars Dept.

  Written by Butch D'Ambrosio / Art by Liz Lomax

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Classics #24 — January 2009
  • Amazingly Stupid MAD — 2012
  • Amazingly Stupid MAD — Expanded Edition — 2013
  16–17
• A MAD Look at The Oscars

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  18–22
• The Lords of the Bling — The Jewelry Never Ends (poster)

  Rap Smear Dept.

  Written by Arie Kaplan and Greg Leitman / Art by Mark Stutzman
  24–25
• Monroe and... Survivor Jr. — Part 2

  Angster's Paradise Dept.

  Written by Anthony Barbieri / Art by Bill Wray
  26–29
• MAD's Down-on-the-Farm The Simple Life Outtakes

  Is Paris Churning? Dept.

  Written by and video captures by Mike Snider
  30–31
• If Other Companies Copied the iPod Ad Campaign — iPoop

  The Apple of Our Ire Dept.

  Art by Scott Bricher

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MADvertising — 2005
  32 sample
• Rock Solid Indications You Are Too Old For the Goth Lifestyle

  The Dark Aged Dept.

  John Caldwell
  33–35
• Are You a Member of Hollywood's D-List?

  A Star is Scorned Dept.

  Written by Matthew A. Cohen / Art by Drew Friedman
  36–37
• Spy vs. Spy — red carpet rope snake / fresh sidewalk cement trampoline

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • Spy vs. Spy — The Top Secret Files — 2011
  38–39
• If Other Companies Copied the iPod Ad Campaign — iPop

  The Apple of Our Ire Dept.

  Art by Scott Bricher

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MADvertising — 2005
  40
• MAD's Oscar Preview

  We'd Like to Spank The Academy Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo, Greg Leitman, Barry Liebmann, David Shayne, Mike Snider

  • Introduction — Hermann Mejia art
  • Best Actor, Best Actress — Part I — Drew Friedman art
  • Best Actor, Best Actress — Part II — Rick Tulka art / Color by Jack Syracuse
  • Best Actor, Best Actress — Part III — Sam Sisco art
  41–47
• If Other Companies Copied the iPod Ad Campaign — iPot

  The Apple of Our Ire Dept.

  Art by Scott Bricher

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MADvertising — 2005
  48
• Fold-In — What is bigger than ever among American students?

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964–2010 — 2011
  C3 sample