MAD #438 — February 2004

"Family reunions are when relatives gather from all over to be reminded why they scattered in the first place!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Contents Page
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.
  2–4
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• The Fundalini Pages

  Random Acts of Mindless Dept.

  Friends of Fundalini Notes

  • "Friends of Fundalini" list of contributors not originally attached to the articles in this section: Scott Bricher, Tom Bunk, John Caldwell, Butch D'Ambrosio, Desmond Devlin, Evan Dorkin, Drew Friedman, Garth Gerhart, Charlie Kadau, Arie Kaplan, Scott Maiko, Josh Malinow, Kevin Pope, Joe Raiola, Johnny Styne, Mike Snider — DETAILS

  • Celebrity Cause of Death Betting Odds — 50 Cent — Written by Mike Snider / Art by Jack Syracuse
  • The Godfrey Report
  • First... Then... What's Next? — Art by Drew Friedman
  • Celebrity Verse — George W. Bush
  • Classified Ads
  • The 5 Stages of Superbowl-Office Pool Bettor Grief — Art by Tom Bunk
  • Monkeys Are Always Funny — Federal Seizure of Elian Gonzalez — Evan Dorkin
  • Weapons U.S. Inspectors Did Find In Iraq
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • The MAD War on Bush — 2007
  • Bitterman — Three Rules of Male Bathroom Etiquette — Garth Gerhart sample
  • The Fast 5 — The 5 Most-Likely Things Michael Jackson Was Thinking While Having His Mug Shot Photo Taken
  • An Internet Banner Ad You Shouldn't Click On — Apply for the new Crisco Visa Card — Written by Charlie Kadau
  • Video Game Preview — Grand Theft Amish — Art by Scott Bricher
  • Sponge Bob Square Package — Art by John Caldwell
  • A Variety Ad We'd Like to See... For Your Consideration: The Paris Hilton Sex Video
  • Melvin & Jenkins' Guide to the Circus — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Kevin Pope
  6–8
• Fools of Rock (movie satire)

  Chronic Black Plain Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo / Art by Tom Richmond

  Reprinted in 2 collection

  • MAD Classics #11 — November 2006
  • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor Vol. 4 — April 2026
  10–15
• MAD's Handy Glossary to the War on Terror

  Lexicon-Job Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • The MAD War on Bush — 2007
  16–17
• Monroe and... Survivor Jr. — Part 1

  Angster's Paradise Dept.

  Written by Anthony Barbieri / Art by Bill Wray
  18–21
• 2003: The Year in Film

  Title Wave Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / AP & Wide World photos
  22–23
• A MAD Look at the Super Bowl

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD's Greatest Artists: Sergio Aragonés — 2010
  24–27
• Spy vs. Spy — tiger cut from caveman rope trap reveals hole

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • Spy Vs. Spy 2 — The Joke and Dagger Files — 2007
  • Spy vs. Spy — The Top Secret Files — 2011
  28–29
• The Mourn Identity

  Tales From the Duck Side Dept.

  Don (Duck) Edwing
  30
• The League of Rejected Superheroes

  Power to the Feeble Dept.

  Written by Jeff Kruse

  Reprinted in 7 collections

  • The Freebie MAD — 2005
  • MAD New York Comic-Con Special Edition — 2008
  • MAD Classics #24 — January 2009
  • MAD About Super Heroes — Volume 2 — 2010
  • Insanely Awesome MAD — 2011
  • MAD About Super Heroes — Version 2.5 — 2012
  • Insanely Awesome MAD — Deluxe Edition — 2014

  • Inebrion — The Superhero Who Can't Stay Sober — Art by Frank Miller / Color by Wildstorm
  • Scantily-Clad Woman — Art by J. Scott Campbell / Color by Matt Milla
  • The Entomologist — Art by Dave Gibbons / Color by Wildstorm
  • Mediocre Man — Art by John Byrne / Color by Wildstorm
  • Sloggtor of Globbzorr — Art by John Romita, Jr. / Color by Wildstorm
  • Vocabulon — Art by Michael Allred / Color by Laura Allred
  • Apathenia — Queen of Not Giving a Damn — Art by Arthur Adams / Color by Wildstorm
  • The Incredible Infringement Man — Art by Jim Lee / Color by Alex Sinclair sample
  31–36
• An Open Letter from Michael Jackson

  Pedo-File Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Chas D'Eau
  37
• The Dos and Don'ts of a Super Bowl Party

  A Word to the Guys Dept.

  John Caldwell
  38–39
• Absurd, Their Enthusiasm (TV satire)

  There's Something About Larry Dept.

  Written by Josh Gordon / Art by Angelo Torres / Color by Wildstorm

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #25 — May 2009
  40–44
• If Norman Rockwell Depicted the 21st Century — "The Marriage License"

  Paint Misbehavin' Dept.

  Art by Richard Williams
  45
• Now Playing at the California State House: Arnold Schwarzenegger — Governor

  A Term For the Worse Dept.

  Written by and video captures by Mike Snider
  46–47
• Fold-In — What stomach-turning reality show has many across the land completely disgusted?

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964–2010 — 2011
  C3

John Ficarra's first issue as sole editor