MAD #437 — January 2004

"Sometimes it seems like only masochists do unto others as they would have done unto themselves!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Contents Page
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • Ad for MAD About Comic Strips book
  2, 4, 6
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• The Blue Shield (TV satire)

  A Chiklis Wonder Dept.

  Written by Charlie Kadau / Art by Angelo Torres / Gray tones by Wildstorm

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #24 — January 2009
  8–12
• When Department Store Santas Go Bad

  Claus and Defect Dept.

  John Caldwell

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Stocking Stuffer — Special Collector's Edition 2016
  • MAD Stocking Stuffer — Special Collector's Edition 2019
  14–16
• MAD's Epic Outtakes from The Lord of the Rings — The Return of the King

  Look Who's Tolkien Dept.

  Written by Greg Leitman
  18–20
• The MAD 20 Dumbest People, Events and Things of 2003

  • 1. The California Recall — "Term Eliminator: Rise of the Political Machines" — (Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines movie poster parody) — Written by Andrew J. Schwartzberg / Art by Steve Chorney 22
  • 2. Britney and Madonna Shamelessly Swap Spit — "Garbage Pail Kiss" — (Garbage Pail Kids sticker parody) — Art by Tom Bunk

    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • The 100 Dumbest People, Events & Things of the Century (so far) — Special Collector's Edition 2014

    23
  • 3. The Fall of Geraldo Rivera — (photo of Saddam Hussein statue toppling parody) — Art by Michael Elins

    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • The 100 Dumbest People, Events & Things of the Century (so far) — Special Collector's Edition 2014

    24
  • 4. Jessica Replaces Homer as TV's Dumbest Simpson — "Dumb Teen People" — (Teen People magazine cover satire) — Written by Frank Santopadre / Photos by Irving Schild

    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • The 100 Dumbest People, Events & Things of the Century (so far) — Special Collector's Edition 2014

    26
  • 5. Sammy Sosa's Grand Sham — "Cheaties" — (Wheaties cereal box parody) — Written by Frank Santopadre

    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • The 100 Dumbest People, Events & Things of the Century (so far) — Special Collector's Edition 2014

    28
  • 6. George W. Bush — "G.I. Joke Action Figure" — (G.I. Joe toy doll parody) — Written by Russ Cooper / Photos by Irving Schild

    Reprinted in 3 collections

    • MAD About Politics — 2008
    • MAD #497 — January 2009
    • The 100 Dumbest People, Events & Things of the Century (so far) — Special Collector's Edition 2014

    29
  • 7. Man Ships Himself Cross-Country — "PeopleFreight.com" — (online shipping parody) — Written by Charlie Kadau / Art by Timothy Shamey 32
  • 8. Fox News Sues Al Franken — "Al Frankenstein" — (Frankenstein movie poster parody) — Written by Russ Cooper / Art by Michael Koelsch — sample 33
  • 9. Jayson Blair Butchers The New York Times: All the Lies He Saw Fit to Print — Art by Drew Friedman 34
  • 10. The Music Industry Sues File Sharers — "The Fright Before Christmas" — (The Night Before Christmas poem parody) — Written by David Shayne / Art by Hermann Mejia

    Reprinted in 4 collections

    • MAD Classics #24 — January 2009
    • The 100 Dumbest People, Events & Things of the Century (so far) — Special Collector's Edition 2014
    • MAD Stocking Stuffer — Special Collector's Edition 2016
    • MAD Stocking Stuffer — Special Collector's Edition 2019

    36–37
  • 11. Rush Limbaugh Fumbles on ESPN — Written by Johnny Styne / Art by Tom Nick Cocotos 38
  • 12. Kobe Bryant Gifts His Wife — "A diamond bribes her forever." — (A diamond is forever ad parody) — Written by Don Vaughan / Photos by Irving Schild

    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MADvertising — 2005

    40
  • 13. Michael Moore's Oscar Speech — "Stupid White Man" — (Stupid White Men book cover parody) — Photos by Irving Schild 41
  • 14. Dixie Chicks Backlash — "Taboo - The Game of Unspeakable Viewpoints" — (game parody) — Written by Darren Johnson and Greg Leitman / Art by Rick Tulka 42
  • 15. Alabama Judge Plays Moses — "The 10 Commandments as Practiced by Judge Roy Moore" — Written by Stan Sinberg / Art by Hermann Mejia 44
  • 16. Hillary Clinton's Story: First Lady and The Tramp — Written by Arie Kaplan 45
  • 17. Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher — "Mademi and Child" — (Madonna and Child — Raphael Santi painting parody) — Art by James Warhola — sample

    Reprinted in 4 collections

    • MAD Color Classics #9 — April 2004
    • Totally MAD — 2012
    • The 100 Dumbest People, Events & Things of the Century (so far) — Special Collector's Edition 2014
    • Totally Inside MAD — 2016

    46
  • 18. The Anti-Gay Crusade — "Evil Eye for the Queer Guy" — (Queer Eye for the Straight Guy TV poster parody) — Art by Mark Stutzman

    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD #497 — January 2009

    48
  • 19. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez Bomb in Gigli — Fold-In (Al Jaffee)

    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964-2010 — 2011

    49
  • 20. Homeland Security — "Tom Ridge's Taping Spaces" — (Trading Spaces TV poster parody) — Written by Russ Cooper / Art by Scott Bricher 50
  21
• Unbend-A-Dent (ad parody)

  An Embarrassment of Richard's Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo
  51
• Monroe and... The Presidency

  Angster's Paradise Dept.

  Written by Anthony Barbieri / Art by Bill Wray
  52–55
• A MAD Look at the Holidays

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones

  Reprinted in 5 collections

  • The MAD Holiday Survival Guide — 2004
  • MAD Kids #9 — December 2007
  • Extremely Moronic MAD — 2012
  • MAD Stocking Stuffer — Special Collector's Edition 2016
  • MAD Stocking Stuffer — Special Collector's Edition 2019
  56–58
• MAD Counts Down Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve

  Zing Out the Old Dept.

  Written by Butch D'Ambrosio / Art by Drew Friedman
  60

Nick Meglin's last issue co-edited with John Ficarra