MAD #459 — November 2005

"If you repeat the same grade once, you're a dummy — if you do it 20 times, you're a teacher!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Contents Page
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • Meinhardt Raabe visits the MAD offices, Ads for MAD Kids, MADvertising book, Spy vs. Spy Jr Action Collectible Race Cars
  2, 4–7
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• The Fundalini Pages

  Random Acts of Mindless Dept.

  Friends of Fundalini Notes

  • "Friends of Fundalini" list of contributors not originally attached to the articles in this section: Ray Alma, Tom Bunk, Paul Coker, Jr., Dick DeBartolo, Nate Fakes, Drew Friedman, Al Jaffee, Jeff Kruse, Hermann Mejia, Patrick Merrell, Jason Reich, Rick Tulka, Don Vaughan — DETAILS

  • Prescription Drug or Godzilla Foe? — Art by Paul Coker, Jr.
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD #20 — August 2021
  • The Puzzle Nook — "---ion is 9/10 of the law" (Patrick Merrell)
  • The Fast 5 — The Downsides of Being Britney & Kevin's Baby — Art by Rick Tulka
  • Other Secrets Leaked to the Press By White House Advisor Karl Rove — Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Drew Friedman
  • Celebrity Reality Shows Currently Under Development — Art by Hermann Mejia
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD Classics #5 — February 2006
  • Corrections
  • "Forced" Laughter (Star Wars themed) — Written by Jason Reich / Art by Al Jaffee
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD About Star Wars — 2007
  • The Cover We Didn't Use — Harry vs. Hairy! (Potter vs. Kong) — Art by Ray Alma
  • Innovative Provisions of the New National Hockey League Agreement — Art by Tom Bunk
  • Questions We Wanted to Hear in the John Roberts Supreme Court Confirmation Hearings — Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD Classics #5 — February 2006
  8–10
• MAD's Inside Scoop On This Year's Stupidest Holiday Movies

  Coming Detractions Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin and Scott Maiko / Art by Tom Richmond

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD #20 — August 2021
  12–15
• The High School Gentleman's Etiquette Guide for Dating Your Teacher

  XXX-tra Curricular Activities Dept.

  Written by Dennis Snee / Art by Rick Geary

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #5 — February 2006
  18–19
• A MAD Look at Pizza

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Classics #21 — April 2008
  • Totally Useless MAD — 2013
  20–22 sample
• Planet TAD!!!!!

  In Blog We Trust Dept.

  Written by Tim Carvell / Art by Brian Durniak / AP & Wide World photos

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • Epic MAD — 2012
  • Insanely Awesome MAD — Deluxe Edition — 2014
  24–25
• More MAD CD Cover Doodles

  Deface the Music Dept.

  Russ Cooper

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Kids #1 — December 2005 (excerpt)
  26–27
• 7 Periods Closer to Death

  One for Rall and Rall for One Dept.

  Ted Rall

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • 1001 MAD Pages You Must Read Before You Die — 2009
  28
• Monroe and... Immigration

  Angster's Paradise Dept.

  Written by Anthony Barbieri / Art by Bill Wray
  33–35
• You May Want to Call Off the "Face to Face" If...

  Rotten Meet Dept.

  John Caldwell / Idea by Butch D'Ambrosio
  36–37
• MAD's All-Inclusive Do-It-Yourself Reality Show Press Release

  Funny on the Blank Dept.

  Written by Frank Jacobs / Art by Evan Dorkin

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • This Is Your Brain On MAD — Special Collector's Edition 2015
  38–39
• Spy vs. Spy — dartboard shoots darts

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • Spy Vs. Spy 2 — The Joke and Dagger Files — 2007
  • Spy vs. Spy — The Top Secret Files — 2011
  40–41
• MAD's Horrendous Holiday Movie Outtakes

  Deck the Halls With Boughs of Hollywood Dept.
  42–43
• The Strip Club

  Pen and Stink Dept.

  • Father O'Flannity's Hot Tub Confessions with Bert & Ernie — Keith Knight
  • I'm With Stupid — Rich Moyer
  • The Educa-Fun Page — Ruben Bolling
  • The Hero Santon! — Don Asmussen
  • Rob — The Evil, Backstabbing Robot Temp — Corey Pandolph
    Reprinted in 2 collections

    • MAD #41 — February 2025
    • MAD Treasure Trove of Trash — Vol. 10 — Jan/Feb 2025
  • Pondering the Really Meaningful Stuff... — Rob Harrell
    Reprinted in 2 collections

    • Epic MAD — 2012
    • Insanely Awesome MAD — Deluxe Edition — 2014
  45–48
• Go Fetch!

  License to Shill Dept.

  Notes

  • Darth Vader art by Nathan Fox
  49, 50, 52
• C.S.Oy: NY (TV satire)

  DNA-holes Dept.

  Written by Arnie Kogen / Art by Mort Drucker
  54–58
• Hottest Halloween Costumes

  For Your Disguise Only Dept.

  Written by Dennis Snee / Art by Scott Bricher
  59
• Fold-In — What kind of pot have many young Americans become highly addicted to?

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964–2010 — 2011
  C3