MAD #511 — October 2011

"Nowadays, the only time a driver's hands are at ten and two is when they're dialing!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Ad for MAD's Blog: The Idiotical
  C2
• Contents Page

  It's the List We Can Do Dept.
  1
• Letters

  Notes

  • Photos of "Weird Al" Yankovich and Annie Gaines
  2, 4–6
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various obscure places around the magazine) summary
• Ad for The MAD Fold-In Collection: 1964–2010
  3
• Ad for Subscriptions with AEN Portrait Offer
  7
• The Fundalini Pages

  Random Acts of Mindless Dept.

  • What Changes and What Stays the Same With Ashton Kutcher Joining Two and a Half Men — Written by Matt Lassen / Art by Hermann Mejia
  • Pet Peeves of Major League Batboys — John Caldwell
  • You May Have Taken This Hipster Thing Too Far If... — Kenny Keil
  • If Politicians' Names Reflected the Scandals They're Hiding — Written by Kit Lively / Art by Marc Hempel
  • LeLievre and Let LeLievre — their thighs met — Glen LeLievre
  • Monkeys Are Always Funny — with Casey Anthony on trial
  • Signs That Your Parents Are Trying to Kill You — Written by Kit Lively / Art by Peter Bagge sample
  • Sutton for Punishment — Star Wars films reduction — Ward Sutton
  • 6 Degrees of Separation Between Anyone and Anything — Can You Link U.S. Autoworkers to an Oompa-Loompa?
  • Phool's Gold Exchange (ad parody) — Written by Dick DeBartolo / various photo sources
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • Intensely Dumb MAD — 2013
  • Plugged Nickel — Mommy unfriending Daddy — Scott Nickel
  • Celebrity Cause-of-Death Betting Odds — Blake Lively — Art by Sam Viviano
  • Bitterman — putting Mom and her dinner-making on a pedestal — Garth Gerhart
  8–12
• Ad for Insanely Awesome MAD Book
  13
• Parks and Regurgitation (TV satire)

  Poehler Expedition Dept.

  Written by Arnie Kogen / Art by Tom Richmond

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Treasure Trove of Trash — Vol. 10 — Jan/Feb 2025
  • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor — Vol. 4 — April 2026
  14–19
• Dictators Next to be Overthrown

  Waiting for the Other Coup to Drop Dept.

  Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Tom Bunk
  20–21
• 12 Good Things About Your Smoking Addiction

  Ash Backwards Dept.

  Teresa Burns Parkhurst
  22–23
• Spy vs. Spy — 50 Years, 1961–2011 — Fold-Out Poster Insert

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Irving Schild photos

  Customized by 43 contributors

  • "Blank" Spy action figures customized by: Michael Allred, Bill Amend, John "Derf" Backderf, Peter Bagge, Lisa Barnstone, Andrew Bell, Matthieu "McBess" Bessudo, Tom Bunk, Jon Burgerman, Dave Croatto, Simon Doonan, Jonathan Edwards, Louise "Felt Mistress" Evans, Sam Flores, Brian Flynn, Jason Freeny, George Gaspar, Al Jaffee, Mr. Shane Jessup, Steve Kiwus, Randy Klimpert, Shawn Knapp, Peter Kuper, Jacob Lambert, Abe Lincoln Jr., Liz Lomax, Mark Marek, Hermann Mejia, Claudia "Claw" Money, Brandon Ortwein, Tom Otterness, Dave Perillo, Presspop, The Prohias Family, Andy Ross, David Anson Russo, Jay Shuster, Bob Staake, Gavin Strange, Tracy Tubera, Dyana Weissman, Andrew "Sket One" Yasgar, Bubi Au Yeung
  24–32poster side 1 / poster side 2
• New Editions of Angry Birds We'd Like to See

  Level Slaying Field Dept.

  Art by Charles Akins
  33–35
• Overheard at the Kardashian Wedding

  Here Comes the Wide Dept.

  Written by Jacob Lambert and Jeff Kruse / Art by Rick Tulka / Color by Tom Luth
  36–37
• Planet TAD!!!!!

  In Blog We Trust Dept.

  Written by Tim Carvell / Art by Brian Durniak / various photos
  38–39
• A MAD Look At Lady Gaga

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones / Color by Tom Luth

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • Certifiably MAD — 2012
  40–43
• Satellite TV Listings

  True Grid Dept.

  Written by Jeff Kruse
  44–45
• MAD Presents Still More Facts That Sound For a Second Like They Might Be True... But Aren't

  That's False, Folks! Dept.

  Written by Justin Heimberg / Art by Kevin Pope
  46
• The Strip Club

  Pen and Stink Dept.

  • "Optical Illusions" — Vic Black
  • lil Popi — Box Brown
  • It Only Hurts When I Laugh — Christopher Baldwin
  • Coombs & Coombs — Jason Coates
  • That Sinking Feeling — Jason Yungbluth
  • Got Your Nose — Jacob Lambert
  • Just Below the Surface: The True Origin of Superman — Douglas Paszkiewicz
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD Presents Superman — Summer 2013
  47–50
• Ad for MAD's Greatest Artists — Sergio Aragones — Five Decades of His Finest Works
  51
• Spy vs. Spy — parking tow-truck car drop / submarine shark

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • Spy vs. Spy — Fight to the Finish — 2013
  52–53
• Disturbing Facts About the Incoming Freshman Class of 2015

  Dorm Room With a View Dept.

  Written by Scott Maiko

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • Certifiably MAD — 2012
  56
• Fold-In — Where has the housing market taken an especially bad hit?

  Al Jaffee
  C3
• Back Cover — Ad for MAD's Blog: The Idiotical
  C4