Mad #513 February 2012

• Cover Artist: Mark Fredrickson

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• Contents Page
• Letters (photo of Peter Kuper with Inkpot Award from San Diego Comic-Con, more decorated Spy vs. Spy figures to go with those featured on the pull-out poster in #511)
• Sergio Aragones Drawn Out Dramas
  **various obscure places around the magazine
• Ad for Spymuseumstore.org - for Spy vs. Spy stuff
• The Fundalini Pages
  • Celebrity Cause-of-Death Betting Odds - Rick Perry
    (Bob Staake art)
  • LeLievre and Let LeLievre (Glen LeLievre)
  • You May Have Too Many Cats If...
    (written by Teresa Burns Parkhurst / Kevin Pope art)

• Your Small Town Police Blotter (written by Jeff Kruse)
• Fundalini Asks: "What Do You Think They're Talking About?" (Scott Bricher art)
• The Fast Five - How to Curb Fan Violence in Pro Sports (written by Jeff Kruse / Tom Bunk art)
• Vey to Go (P. C. Vey)
• The Fast Five - Tip-Offs That Your Significant Other Just Might Be a Serial Killer
  (written by Kit Lively / Tim Hamilton art)
• Tiger Momma (Jacob Lambert)
• Worst-Selling Mail Order Catalog Items for the Holidays (written by Jeff Kruse / Charles Akins art)
• Salas in Wonderland (Jason Salas)
• Unwritten Rules for Transgender Newbies (John Caldwell)
• Ad For Subscriptions
• The Mad 20 Dumbest People, Events and Things of 2011
  • 1. The U.S. Debt Crisis - The Story of Owe (Hermann Mejia art)
  • 2. Tired Air Traffic Controllers - There's a Nap For That
    (written by Darren Johnson / James Warhola art)
  • 3. Covering for a Pedophile - We Are Penn State! (Scott Bricher art)
  • 4. Congressman Sexts His Weiner - The Louse of Representatives (written by Desmond Devlin)
  • 5. Kim Kardashian Gets Married - Pimp My Bride (written by Matt Lassen / Mark Stutzman art)
  • 6. Charlie Sheen Self-Destructs - "Winning" Isn't Anything
    (written by Kit Lively and Scott Nickel / Tom Richmond art)
  • 7. Olbermann Implodes At MSNBC - The Worst Personal Choice in the World
    (written by Desmond Devlin / Drew Friedman art)
  • 8. The NBA Lockout - Double Drivel (Timothy Shamey art)
  • 9. Casey Anthony Gets Off - Trial and Error
    (written by Lance Hansen with Frank Jacobs / Ward Sutton art)
  • 10. Tiger Moms - Type A-Holes (written by James Grebey / Juan Doe art)
  • 11. Rex Ryan's Foor Fetish - Toe Is Me (written by Matt Lassen / Scott Bricher art)
  • 12. Netflix Changes the Rules - A Streaming Pile of S#*t (written by Dick DeBartolo)
  • 13. Arnold Schtups His Housekeeper - The Last Action-on-the-Side Hero (Richard Williams art)
  • 14. Trump Says Obama Not American - The Born Identity
    (written by Desmond Devlin / Roberto Parada art)
  • 15. News Corp Hacks Phones - Getting Away With Murdoch
    (written by Jacob Lambert / Mick Coulas art
  • 16. Michele Bachmann Speaks - A Broken Facts Machine
    (written by Frank Santopadre and Genevieve Sterbenz)
  • 17. Harold Camping - Profit of Doom (written by Jacob Lambert / Mark Stutzman art)
  • 18. Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark's Injuries - Is There a Dr. Octopus in the House?
    (written by Desmond Devlin / Ty Templeton art)
  • 19. Herman Cain's Presidential Run - Pizza Pie in the Sky (Mark Fredrickson art)
  • 20. Derek Jeter's 3000th Hit Ball Returned - Fold-In (Al Jaffee)
• Ad For Subscriptions with #154 bonus print
• The Strip Club
  • Awkward Hugs (Tom Bland)
  • Father O'Flannity's Hot Tub Confessions with Kanye West (Keith Knight)
  • The Dork Side (Kit Lively and Scott Nickel)
  • What If Dog Was One Of Us? (Kenny Keil)
  • Coombs & Coombs (Jason Coates)
  • Rods & Cones (Brian Gordon)
• Planet TAD!!!!! (written by Tim Carvell / various photos)
• A Mad Look At Protests (Sergio Aragones / color by Tom Luth)
• Ad for Mad Books
• Spy vs. Spy (Peter Kuper)
• Ways to Create a Healthier McDonald's Experience (Teresa Burns Parkhurst)
• The Mad Vault Article From #149 - Harry Grepser's New Year's Resolutions 1962-1972
  (written by Frank Jacobs)
• The Mad Vault Article From #252 - One Fine Christmas in the Jungle (Don Martin)