MAD #303 — June 1991

"Germs attack people where they're weakest — which is why there are so many head colds!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Ad for Super Special Winter 1991 — Movies III
  C2
• Contents Page
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • Dave Berg's “Lighter Side of Cue Balls,” Ad for Subscriptions featuring MAD Buttons Bonus / Big Books, Ad for Duck Edwing's MAD Bizarre Blast Paperback
  2–3
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• Stale Prince of Belch Air (TV satire)

  Home Sweet Homeboy Dept.

  Written by Stan Hart / Art by Mort Drucker

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Special #129 — July 1998
  • MAD XL #32 — March 2005
  4–8
• The Monstrous Molar Mayhem

  Tales from the Duck Side Dept.

  Don (Duck) Edwing

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Special #135 — March 1999
  9
• Give It Up!

  Assuming the Futile Position Dept.

  Written by John Prete / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Special #122 — August 1997
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — 2000
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — The Mother Load — 2004
  10–11
• MAD's By-The-Numbers Guide to Predicting TV Tabloid and “Info-Tainment” Stories

  Sums Down Dept.

  Written by Mike Snider / Art by Rick Tulka

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Special #129 — July 1998
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — 2000
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — The Mother Load — 2004
  12–13
• The MAD Rock 'n Rap Sampler

  Alphabet Group Dept.

  Written by Charlie Kadau / Art by Bob Clarke

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Special #112 — April 1996
  14–15
• The Lighter Side of...

  Berg's-Eye View Dept.

  Dave Berg

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Special #125 — December 1997
  • MAD #28 — December 2022 (excerpt)
  • 70th Anniversary Issue — Vol. 3 — December 2022 — B&N Edition (excerpt)
  16–20
• The Splattered Speedster Spectacle

  Tales from the Duck Side Dept.

  Don (Duck) Edwing

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD XL #22 — July 2003
  21
• Why Cats Have 9 Lives and You Have Only One!

  Me-ouch! Dept.

  Paul Peter Porges

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Special #128 — June 1998
  • MAD Goes to the Dogs & Other Beasties! — Special Collector's Edition 2024
  • MAD Fixes Cats — Special Collector's Edition 2025
  22–23
• The Ballad of Rocky Balboa

  Frank on a Roll Dept.

  Written by Frank Jacobs / Art by Gerry Gersten

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD XL #30 — November 2004
  • MAD Classics #12 — January 2007
  24–25
• The New Benchmarks, Records and Barriers That Mankind is Rapidly Approaching — Part II

  Soaring to New Frights Dept.

  Written by Mike Snider / Art by Tom Bunk

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Special #125 — December 1997
  26–27
• Major Dud (TV satire)

  Basic Straining Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo / Art by Angelo Torres
  28–32
• Who Says Being Stranded Can't Be Fun

  Well, Isle Be Damned! Dept.

  John Caldwell

  Reprinted in 4 collections

  • MAD Special #120 — April 1997
  • MAD XL #21 — June 2003
  • Intensely Dumb MAD — 2013
  • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor — Vol. 1 — Apr/May 2025
  33–35
• Spy vs. Spy — doves set off statue bomb

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Art by Bob Clarke

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Special #130 — August 1998
  • Spy Vs. Spy 2 — The Joke and Dagger Files — 2007
  36
• A MAD Guide to How Simple Things Work — Part II

  All Jaffee Dept.

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Special #129 — July 1998
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — 2000
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — The Mother Load — 2004
  37–41
• The Revered Revolutionary Ruse

  Tales from the Duck Side Dept.

  Don (Duck) Edwing

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD XL #15 — June 2002
  42
• MAD's Aptitude Test Number Seven — Will You Make a Good Flight Attendant?

  B-S.A.T. Dept.

  Written by Frank Jacobs / Art by George Woodbridge

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Special #130 — August 1998
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — 2000
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — The Mother Load — 2004
  43
• Home A-Groan (movie satire)

  American Youth Hostile Dept.

  Written by Stan Hart / Art by Sam Viviano

  Reprinted in 5 collections

  • MAD Special #118 — February 1997
  • MAD About the '90s — 2005
  • MAD For Decades — 2007
  • MAD Spoofs Movie Classics — Special Collector's Edition 2015
  • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor Vol. 4 — April 2026
  44–48 sample sample
• Fold-In — Who has carried the phrase “Read My Lips” much too far?

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964–2010 — 2011
  C3
• Back Cover — Grayola Crayons — We're Changing Our Colors!

  Written by Charlie Kadau / Art by James Warhola

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Special #120 — April 1997
  • MAD About the '90s — 2005
  • Totally Inside MAD — 2016
  C4