MAD #489 — May 2008

"When it comes to the lack of cleanliness at public urinals, it's amazing what some guys will stand for!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Contents Page
  1
• Letters
  2, 4, 6
• Subscription Ad — "Jeffrey Lozenge" Dressed as a Bee

  Written by Joe Raiola / Irving Schild photos
  3
• Ads for Spy vs. Spy 2 — The Joke and Dagger Files, The MAD War on Bush, MAD About Star Wars, and The Completely MAD Don Martin books
  5
• Ad for MAD Classics Subscription with bonus MAD #166 offer
  7
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• The Fundalini Pages

  Random Acts of Mindless Dept.

  Friends of Fundalini Notes

  • "Friends of Fundalini" list of contributors not originally attached to the articles in this section: Peter Bagge, Tom Bunk, Desmond Devlin, Garth Gerhart, Jeff Kruse, Jacob Lambert, Glen LeLievre, Hermann Mejia, Kevin Pope — DETAILS

  • Castro Comments — brutal dictatorship memorabilia
  • Less Popular Conspiracy Theories — Written by Jeff Kruse
  • Fundalini Asks "What If...?" — What If Barack Obama Were a Zombie? — Art by Hermann Mejia
  • Least-Listed Items on the Average American's "Bucket List" — Written by Jeff Kruse
  • Highlights from the Pope's Visit to Yankee Stadium — Written by Desmond Devlin
  • Defenses to Use When You're Sued by the Music Industry for Illegal Downloading — Art by Peter Bagge
  • The Fast 5 — Easter Candies Still Left on the Shelf — Written by Jeff Kruse
  • Melvin & Jenkins' Guide to Pet Care — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Kevin Pope
  • LeLievre and Let LeLievre — lion feeds on gazelle, hears disembodied voice (Glen LeLievre)
  • Revelations Left Out of the Tell-All Tom Cruise Biography — Written by Jeff Kruse
  • How to Tell a Terrorist from a Regular Schmoe — Art by Tom Bunk
  • Pitches Made in Hollywood Now that the Writers' Strike Is Over — Written by Jeff Kruse
  • Bitterman — hormone driven teenagers (Garth Gerhart)
  8–10
• What The Heck is the Difference?

  Observation Dreck Dept. — featuring cover MAD #326

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #23 — October 2008
  11
• Slomantha? Who Cares! (TV satire)

  Milking Amnesia Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo / Art by Tom Richmond
  12–16
• An AT&T Commercial We'd Like to See

  Cell Phonies Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Drew Friedman
  17
• Other Kids Book Secrets Revealed Now That Dumbledore Has Been Outed

  The Crass Characters Dept.

  Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Gary Hallgren

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Kids #11 — June 2008 (excerpt)
  18–20
• Hello, I'm Barack. And I'm H.C. (ad parody)

  The Apple of Their Ire Dept.

  Art by Hermann Mejia

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD About Politics — 2008
  • MAD Spoofs Politics — Special Collector's Edition 2014
  21 sample
• If Different Comedians Told the Same Joke: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

  Spiking the Punchline Dept.

  Written by Harrison Greenbaum / Art by Jason Seiler
  22–23
• Bad News Bare-Asses — Baseball Has Rules. Not That These A-holes Care. (poster)

  Needles and Sins Dept.

  Art by Sam Sisco
  24–25
• Ad for MAD Kids
  26–27
• Planet TAD!!!!!

  In Blog We Trust Dept.

  Written by Tim Carvell / Art by Brian Durniak
  28–29
• A MAD Look At Doctors

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  30–33
• MAD's Do-It-Yourself 24 Season 7 Plotline

  Bauer Outtage Dept.

  Written by Darren Johnson / Art by Rick Tulka / Color by Wildstorm FX
  34–35
• Signs You've Chosen the Wrong Spring Break Destination

  Mistake a Vacation Dept.

  John Caldwell
  36–37
• Spy vs. Spy — overcoming superstitions

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • Spy vs. Spy — Fight to the Finish — 2013
  38
• Monroe and... Extreme Makeover

  Angster's Paradise Dept.

  Written by Anthony Barbieri / Art by Tom Fowler / Color by Ryan Flanders
  39–42
• Hello, I'm Barack. And I'm H.C. (ad parody)

  The Apple of Their Ire Dept.

  Art by Hermann Mejia
  43 sample
• MAD's Washed-Up Lost Outtakes

  Plane Nonsense Dept.
  44–45
• Things We'll Probably Overhear at the Upcoming Barry Bonds Trial...

  A Poke in the Lie Dept.

  Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.
  46–47
• Fold-In — Where does everyone agree the level of patient care is deplorable?

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964–2010 — 2011
  C3