Mad's play on Benjamin Franklin's
Poor Richard's Almanack
| FEATURE TITLE |
EXAMPLE ENTRY |
ISSUE / DATE |
| Alfred's Poor Almanac |
"January 2 - Axolotl season begins.
Pickle them now, while they are at peak flavor!" |
69 - Mar 1962 |
| Alfred's Poor Almanac |
"February 22 - Washington tells Gilbert Stuart
to leave the portrait unfinished." |
70 - Apr 1962 |
| Alfred's Poor Almanac |
"May 8 - Mickey Bitsko invents 'The Coffee Break,'
and is immediately fired, 1891." |
71 - Jun 1962 |
| Alfred's Poor Almanac |
"May 13 - Mother's Day;
give Mom the greatest gift of all today -- your absence!" |
72 - Jul 1962 |
| Alfred's Poor Almanac |
"July 2 - Due to unpaid taxes,
Italian officials put lien on Tower of Pisa, 1902." |
73 - Sep 1962 |
| Alfred's Poor Almanac |
"August 31 - Soviet Union claims invention of the Edsel, 1957." |
74 - Oct 1962 |
| Alfred's Poor Almanac |
"October 13 - Sen John Bulch dislocates kneecap,
is summoned before special Congressional Joint Committee, 1946." |
75 - Dec 1962 |
| Alfred's Poor Almanac |
"December 11 - U.S. Mint at Philadelphia opens new wing,
claiming extra facilities will provide better quarters, 1911." |
76 - Jan 1963 |
| Alfred's Poor Almanac |
"June 18 - Banks that advertise quick loan service
usually have your interest at heart." |
168 - Jul 1974 |
| Alfred's Poor Almanac |
"July 9 - O.J. Simpson's birthday.
Team offers to throw a party if owner will pay the Bills." |
169 - Sep 1974 |
| Alfred's Poor Almanac |
"September 5 - Raquel Welch's birthday.
Which may explain why today is a total bust." |
170 - Oct 1974 |
| Alfred's Poor Almanac |
"November 3 - Undertaker Irving Pabst enters
National Casket Contest, wins blue ribbon for his bier, 1905." |
171 - Dec 1974 |
| Alfred's Poor Almanac |
"January 1 - The Bad News is: tomorrow MAD #173 goes on sale.
The Good News is: this is the last Poor Alfred's Almanac." |
172 - Jan 1975 |
