MAD #334 — March/April 1995

"Nowadays, the perfect crime is getting caught and then selling your story to TV!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Ad for Subscriptions with MAD Pin Collection Bonus

  Art by Jack Rickard from MAD #239
  C2
• Contents Page
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • Photo of Slash with MAD #330, Mike Slaubaugh points out Dave Berg and Angelo Torres milestones, and Ad for Super Special April 1995 — Collector's Series #10 featuring 4 Connectable Collectable Wall Prints
  2–3
• Why Bother?

  The Chosen Futile Dept.

  Written by Russ Cooper
  (various places around the magazine)
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• Frankenslime (movie satire)

  A Scar is Born Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo / Art by Angelo Torres

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Special #140 — September 1999
  • Horrifyingly MAD — 2011
  • MAD #45 — October 2025
  4–8
• How to Pick Lottery Numbers the MAD Way

  Bettor Pay Attention Dept.

  Written by Barry Liebmann / Art by Tom Bunk

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD XL #6 — November 2000
  9–11
• Would It Kill Your Pet...?

  It's Blaming Cats and Dogs Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Bob Jones

  Reprinted in 4 collections

  • MAD Special #128 — June 1998
  • MAD #24 — April 2022
  • MAD Goes to the Dogs & Other Beasties! — Special Collector's Edition 2024
  • MAD Treasure Trove of Trash — Vol. 1 — May/June 2022
  12–13 sample
• A Letter from USscAir Chairman & CEO E. Death Scorchfield

  An Embarrassment of Richard's Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD XL #3 — June 2000
  • MADvertising — 2005
  14
• The 11 Rarest Animation Cells on the Market

  A Kick in the Acetate Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Sam Viviano

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Color Classics #4 — September 2001
  15–18
• Scenes We'd Like to See — The Bride of Frankenstein

  Groom and Doom Dept.

  Written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Art by Jack Davis

  Reprinted in 6 collections

  • MAD XL #3 — June 2000
  • Horrifyingly MAD — 2011
  • MAD #33 — October 2023
  • MAD Treasure Trove of Trash — Vol. 6 — Jul/Aug 2023
  • MAD Haunts Halloween — Special Edition 2024
  • MAD #45 — October 2025
  19 sample
• TV Warnings We Really Need

  Viewer Discretion Despised Dept.

  Written by John Prete / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Color Classics #1 — April 2000
  • MAD #49 — June 2026
  20–21
• Sending Up a Red Flag

  Global Warning Dept.

  John Caldwell

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Color Classics #2 — September 2000
  22–23
• The Republican Party's “Contract with America” (Truthful Post-Election Version!)

  Everything Old is Newt Again Dept.

  Written by Mike Snider / Art by Drew Friedman

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Special #141 — November 1999
  24–25
• Why Do We Believe...

  Gullible's Travels Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by George Woodbridge

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD XL #1 — January 2000
  • 1001 MAD Pages You Must Read Before You Die — 2009
  26–28
• Spy vs. Spy — top secret paper shredder

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Written by John Schneider / Art by Dave Manak

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Color Classics #1 — April 2000
  • Spy Vs. Spy 2 — The Joke and Dagger Files — 2007
  29
• Customized Driving Tests for TV Characters

  Getting Car Schtick Dept.

  Written by Matthew A. Cohen / Art by Rick Tulka

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Color Classics #2 — September 2000
  30–31
• Real-Life Superheroes at Comic Book Conventions

  The Ecch Men Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 5 collections

  • MAD XL #1 — January 2000
  • MAD About Super Heroes — 2002
  • MAD Classics #16 — July 2007
  • Intensely Dumb MAD — 2013
  • MAD #15 — October 2020
  32–33
• The Lighter Side of...

  Berg's-Eye View Dept.

  Dave Berg

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD XL #6 — November 2000
  • MAD About Dad — 2004 (excerpt)
  34–38
• A MAD Look at Hockey

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Color Classics #1 — April 2000
  39–42
• Quease Show (movie satire)

  Scandal With Care Dept.

  Written by Stan Hart / Art by Mort Drucker

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD XL #27 — June 2004
  43–47
• The Mongolian Mountain Mystery

  Tales from the Duck Side Dept.

  Don (Duck) Edwing

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD XL #6 — November 2000
  48
• Fold-In — What's the only hope all Americans have of receiving excellent health care?

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD XL #3 — June 2000
  • MAD Classics #18 — October 2007
  • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964–2010 — 2011
  C3
• Back Cover — Commemorative Music Stamps We'd Like to See

  Written by Frank Santopadre / Art by Greg Theakston
  C4