MAD #444 — August 2004
"If ignorance is bliss, you'd think people would be happier when you pointed out what morons they are!" — Alfred E. Neuman
Contents
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Contents Page1
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Letters and Tomatoes Dept.
Notes
- Ad for The MAD Bathroom Companion — Gushing Fourth book; Vote for the Monroe Fan Club president ballot
2, 4, 6 -
(various places around the magazine)
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The Fundalini PagesRandom Acts of Mindless Dept.
Friends of Fundalini Notes
- "Friends of Fundalini" — contributors not originally attached to the articles in this section: Ray Alma, Scott Bricher, Tom Bunk, John Caldwell, Tom Cheney, Desmond Devlin, Don (Duck) Edwing, Garth Gerhart, Gary Hallgren, Jeff Kruse, Scott Maiko, Patrick Merrell, Steve Rosso, Mike Snider, Jack Syracuse, P. C. Vey — DETAILS
- Initial Steps by the U.S. Government to Improve Conditions at Iraq's Abu Ghraib Prison
- If Peter Parker had been Bitten by Other Radioactive Creatures — Written by Steve Rosso
Reprinted in 1 collection
- Personal Ad of the Month — Arnie: observational stand-up comic — Written by Jeff Kruse
- Bitterman — drunk sleeping at the dinner table (Garth Gerhart)
- Classified Ads
- The Godfrey Report
- The Cover We Didn't Use — We Piss Off Spiderman! (Art by Ray Alma)
- Celebrity Cause of Death Betting Odds — Paris Hilton — Written by Mike Snider / Art by Jack Syracuse
Reprinted in 2 collections
- Graphic Novel Review — Incredi-Man Archives — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Gary Hallgren
Reprinted in 3 collections
- New Technology Culled From Downed Alien Spacecraft (P. C. Vey)
Reprinted in 2 collections
- The Puzzle Nook — "---ger never solved anything" (Patrick Merrell)
- Pull My Cheney! — tree surgeon (Tom Cheney)
- After Devoting an Entire Broadcast to Reading the Names of U.S. Iraqi War Casualties... What Other Gimmicks is Ted Koppel Planning for Nightline? — Written by Jeff Kruse
- The First Five Guys in Line to See Spider-Man 2 (Art by Tom Bunk)
8–10 -
12–16
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18–19
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Only a Democrat Could Possibly Believe...Tenets, Anyone? Dept. Part IWritten by Russ Cooper / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.20–21
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Monroe and... Europe — Part OneAngster's Paradise Dept.Written by Anthony Barbieri / Art by Bill Wray22–25
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The Last Supper — Circa 2004 (poster)The Da Vinci Area Code Dept.Art by Richard Williams
Reprinted in 3 collections
26–27 sample -
A Cell Phone-Camera Geek's Photo AlbumA Picture is Worth a Thousand Nerds Dept.Written by Mike Snider / Art by Drew Friedman28–30
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Spider-Man Has a Bad Week!Taking One Day at a Climb Dept.Written by Arie Kaplan / Art by Kevin Pope
Reprinted in 2 collections
31 -
You Know a Rapper's Gone Soft When...Wimpin' Ain't Easy Dept.Written by Jacob Lambert / Art by Hermann Mejia
Reprinted in 2 collections
32–33 -
A MAD Look at Space ExplorationSerge-In General Dept.
Reprinted in 2 collections
34–37 -
Only a Republican Could Possibly Believe...Tenets, Anyone? Dept. Part IIWritten by Russ Cooper / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.
Reprinted in 1 collection
38–39 -
Snappy Answers to Stupid QuestionsAll Jaffee Dept.Al Jaffee / Color by Wildstorm
Reprinted in 12 collections
- White Castle Goes MAD — 2005 (excerpt)
- White Castle Goes MAD — 2005 (excerpt)
- MAD Kids #1 — December 2005 (excerpt)
- MAD Kids #2 — March 2006 (excerpt)
- MAD Kids #3 — May 2006 (excerpt)
- MAD Classics #25 — May 2009
- Epic MAD — 2012
- Intensely Dumb MAD — 2013 (excerpt)
- Totally Useless MAD — 2013 (excerpt)
- Disturbingly Awful MAD — 2013
- Insanely Awesome MAD — Deluxe Edition — 2014
- MAD Treasure Trove of Trash — Vol. 10 — Jan/Feb 2025
40–42 -
Duke Bissell's Tales of Undisputed Interest — ye old witchcraft shoppeThe Wizard of Odd Dept.
Reprinted in 1 collection
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How to Think Like a SuperstarPompous and Circumstance Dept.Written by Barry Liebmann / Art by Bob Staake44–45
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Spy vs. Spy — Dr. Octopus meets real octopusJoke and Dagger Dept.
Reprinted in 2 collections
46–47 -
From the Case Files of Wanda Goldstein Flenkman: Pet PsychologistIt's 'Splaining Cats and Dogs Dept.
Reprinted in 2 collections
48–49 -
Pet Peeves of Spider-Man's GirlfriendInsects and the Single Girl Dept.
Reprinted in 2 collections
50–52 -
Fold-In — What will be the most grueling event in the upcoming olympics?
Reprinted in 1 collection
C3