MAD #503 — May 2010

"Everyone wants politicians that are just like them — then they're upset when they are!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Contents Page
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • Photo of Dick DeBartolo with MAD #103 and MAD #502 — an amazing 400-issue streak of contributions since June 1966!, Frank Jacobs receives the Bill Finger Award for Excellence in Comic Book Writing at the 2009 San Diego Comic-Con, Sergio Aragones illustrates a Commemorative Artist t-shirt for Free Comic Book Day
  2–4
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• The Fundalini Pages

  Random Acts of Mindless Dept.

  • The Silly Six — Overlooked Shocking Revelations from the #1 Political Best Seller Game Change — Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Sam Sisco
  • The Kitchen Sink — Medical Shows Coming to TLC — Art by Evan Dorkin and Sarah Dyer
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD #31 — June 2023
  • Twisted Toaster Tales (Episode 1) — Nate Fakes
  • Fundalini Rates the Most Effective Car Insurance Spokesperson
  • Spotted at the Multiplex — Avatar 2: Jersey Shore
  • Celebrity Cause-of-Death Betting Odds — Sarah Palin — Art by Sam Viviano
  • Signs of a Growing Gun Problem in the NBA
  • Reasons Cited by Sportswriters for Not Voting Mark McGwire into Baseball's Hall of Fame — Art by Tom Richmond
  • When the Going Gets Duff — impressed psychiatrist — J. C. Duffy
  • 6 Degrees of Separation Between Anyone and Anything — Can You Link Hula Dancing to Glenn Beck? — Art by Rick Tulka
  • Twisted Toaster Tales (Episode 2) — Nate Fakes
  • Relive The Stupidity — 3 of Your Favorite Dumb News Stories from Last Year! Now on DVD and Blu-ray
    • 30,000 — Special Troop Surge Edition
    • Made Up — Art by Tom Richmond
    • White House Crashers
  • Graphic Novel Review — Garfield: His Most Over-Rendered Book — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Richard Williams
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD Fixes Cats — Special Collector's Edition 2025
  • Tiger Cheat (magazine parody)
  • Pros and Cons of the Kindle — Written by Barry Liebmann
  • Fundalini Gives Leno Supporters Their Own Poster
  • Product Acronyms You Never Knew Existed — Written by Darren Johnson / Art by Tom Bunk sample
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • This Is Your Brain On MAD — Special Collector's Edition 2015
  • Twisted Toaster Tales (Episode 3) — Nate Fakes
  • Toyota — Moving Forward... and Unable to Stop (ad parody)
  6–12
• Ad for MAD About Super Heroes — Volume 2
  14
• The MAD Quarterly Report (December 2009–March 2010)

  Eventing Our Spleen Dept.

  Art by Paul Coker, Jr.
  15
• The Big Bomb Theory (TV satire)

  The Geekest Link Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Tom Richmond

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor — Vol. 1 — Apr/May 2025
  16–19
• Ad for tons of MAD merchandise
  20–21
• The Tiger Woods Mistress Mini-Golf Fun Center

  Just Screw It Dept.

  Written by Scott Maiko / Art by Ty Templeton
  22–23
• The Darker Side of The Lighter Side

  Berg's-Eye Askew Dept.

  Dave Berg originals / Uncredited altered dialogue

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD #25 — June 2022
  24–26
• Subscription Ad — “Jeffrey Lozenge” dressed in Revolutionary War garb

  Written by Joe Raiola / Photos by Irving Schild
  27
• The Amish Space Heater (ad parody)

  The Pennsylvania Dutch Oven Dept.

  Written by Scott Maiko / Photos by Irving Schild
  28–29
• Spy vs. Spy — art gallery mobile becomes spy / umbrella thief meets bus

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • Spy vs. Spy — Fight to the Finish — 2013
  • MAD Presents Spy Vs. Spy — An Explosive Celebration — 2015
  30–31
• The Rich Rewards of a Full-Time Career as a Convenience Store Clerk

  Giving Change You Can Believe In Dept.

  John Caldwell

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • Certifiably MAD — 2012
  32–33
• A MAD Look At Avatar

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones / Color by Tom Luth

  Reprinted in 5 collections

  • Certifiably MAD — 2012
  • Totally MAD — 2012
  • The Best of the Worst! — Special Collector's Edition 2012
  • MAD Spoofs Sci-Fi / Star Wars — Special Collector's Edition 2015
  • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor — Vol. 2 — Aug/Sep 2025
  34–37
• The 9 Reasons You Can't Get a Job

  Hire Education Dept.

  Written by Teresa Burns Parkhurst / Art by Kevin Pope

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor — Vol. 1 — Apr/May 2025
  38–39
• 7 Periods Closer to Death

  The Rall of Duty Dept.

  Ted Rall
  40
• The 38 Worst Things About Late Night TV!

  All Hams on Desk Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin, Scott Maiko, and Jeff Kruse / Art by Hermann Mejia and Ward Sutton

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD #49 — June 2026
  41–45
• MAD's Iron Man 2 Outtakes

  The Young and the Rustless Dept.

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD About Super Heroes — Version 2.5 — 2012
  46–47
• Stop the Spread of Germs! Follow These Simple Rules

  An Embarrassment of Richard's Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo / Art by Gary Hallgren

  Reprinted in 6 collections

  • Insanely Awesome MAD — 2011
  • Totally MAD — 2012
  • The Best of the Worst! — Special Collector's Edition 2012
  • Insanely Awesome MAD — Deluxe Edition — 2014
  • Special Loot Crate Edition of MAD — May 2015
  • Totally Inside MAD — 2016
  48
• The Strip Club

  Pen and Stink Dept.

  • It Only Hurts When I Laugh — Christopher Baldwin
    Reprinted in 2 collections

    • Totally MAD — 2012
    • The Golden Treasury of Trash — Special Collector's Edition 2013
  • The Machine That Travels Through Time — Joey Alison Sayers
    Reprinted in 2 collections

    • Totally MAD — 2012
    • The Golden Treasury of Trash — Special Collector's Edition 2013
  • Bloggers Through Time — Dustin Glick
    Reprinted in 2 collections

    • Totally MAD — 2012
    • The Golden Treasury of Trash — Special Collector's Edition 2013
  • The Dork Side — Scott Nickel
    Reprinted in 2 collections

    • Totally MAD — 2012
    • The Golden Treasury of Trash — Special Collector's Edition 2013
  • Help! I can't swim!! — Feggo
    Reprinted in 4 collections

    • Insanely Awesome MAD — 2011
    • Totally MAD — 2012
    • The Golden Treasury of Trash — Special Collector's Edition 2013
    • Insanely Awesome MAD — Deluxe Edition — 2014
  • Just Below the Surface — Douglas Paszkiewicz
    Reprinted in 2 collections

    • Totally MAD — 2012
    • The Golden Treasury of Trash — Special Collector's Edition 2013
  49–52
• The MAD Vault — 1969

  The Articles Formerly Known as Reprints Dept.

  Featured Article Excerpts and Contributors

  • Eight covers from 1969 interspersed within the following collage of article excerpts:
  • The MAD Ice Hockey Primer — Written by Larry Siegel / Art by Jack Davis
  • If Comic Strips Covered the Burning Issues of the Day — Written by Frank Ridgeway / Art by Bob Clarke
  • MAD's Color Puzzle Page — Written by Al Jaffee / Art by Bob Clarke
  • The Magic Spell — Written by Al Jaffee / Art by Jack Rickard
  • You're in Trouble When They Smile — Written by Stan Hart and Chris Hart / Art by George Woodbridge
  • A MAD Look at Bugs 'N Worms 'N Things — Written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.
  • The MAD Poetry Round Robin — Written by Frank Jacobs / Art by George Woodbridge
  • The Tomb of the Unknown Smoker — Max Brandel / Photo by Irving Schild
  • The Shadow Knows — Sergio Aragones
  • Familiar Affair (TV satire) — Written by Stan Hart / Art by Mort Drucker
  • One Day in a Sawmill — Don Martin
  53–55 collage
• Steal These Tweets!

  Pinch-Twitter Dept.

  Written by Dave Croatto

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • Certifiably MAD — 2012
  56
• Fold-In — What condition definitely won't be covered by the new Obama health plan?

  Al Jaffee
  C3