MAD #504 — August 2010

"People who favor racial profiling should be sent back to where they came from!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Contents Page
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • Official announcements about increasing frequency of publication from four to six issues per year and about Cartoon Network's plan to air a new MAD animated TV show Fall 2010, pictures of stars from Lost with MAD, pictures of graffiti artist BG183 murals
  2–5
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various obscure places around the magazine)
• The Fundalini Pages

  Random Acts of Mindless Dept.

  • What if a Member of the New York Yankees Was a Serial Killer? — Art by Dave Croatto
  • Vey to Go — Facebook friends — P. C. Vey — sample
  • The 5 Worst Things About 3D Movies — Written by Jacob Lambert / Art by Evan Dorkin and Sarah Dyer
  • New Problems Popping Up In Toyotas — Art by Tom Bunk
  • The Least Popular Summer Camps
  • Spotlight on American Universities — College Hall at University Station — Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Charles Akins
  • New Features on the Iron Man 2 Suit — Written by Darren Johnson
  • Calvin and Jobs — how to stop Apple's stock slide — Written by Jacob Lambert / Art by Gary Hallgren
  • The Ryan's Den — referee ignores shooting — Ryan Pagelow
  • Celebrity Cause of Death Betting Odds — TMZ's Harvey Levin — Art by Sam Viviano
  • Coming Next Season to Animal Planet — Written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.
  • Latest Classified Ads — Written by Scott Maiko
  • The NFL's Ref Report — The Karate Kid — Written by Kiernan P. Schmitt
  • Signs You're Too Fat to Travel on a Commercial Airline — Art by Bob Staake
  6–8, 10
• Subscription Ad — “Jeffrey Lozenge” dressed as a viking

  Written by Joe Raiola / Photos by Irving Schild
  9
• Ad for Subscriptions — bonus MAD #96 print offer
  11
• MAD Rates the iPad for Various Demographics

  Take This, Jobs, and Shove It Dept.

  John Caldwell

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • Certifiably MAD — 2012
  12–14
• Toyota Story

  Cars and Defect Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Tom Richmond

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • Certifiably MAD — 2012
  • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor — Vol. 3 — December 2025
  15–17
• Bieber Versus...

  Comparison Chopping Dept.

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • Certifiably MAD — 2012
  18–19
• A MAD Look At The Twilight Saga

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones / Color by Tom Luth

  Reprinted in 4 collections

  • Horrifyingly MAD — 2011
  • Insanely Awesome MAD — 2011
  • Insanely Awesome MAD — Deluxe Edition — 2014
  • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor — Vol. 3 — December 2025
  20–23
• The MAD World of... Lying and Cheating

  The Agony of Deceit Dept.

  Written by Stan Sinberg / Art by Marc Hempel

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor — Vol. 4 — April 2026
  24–26
• The A-Hole Team (movie poster parody)

  The Demagogues Must Be Crazy Dept.
  27
• Mr. T Tweets While Watching The A-Team

  Designated Twitter Dept.
  28–29
• 9 Unmistakable Signs That You're Not Quite Over Your Ex

  The Incredible Sulk Dept.

  Teresa Burns Parkhurst
  30–31
• Reich Guard (ad parody)

  Jesse Shames Dept.
  32
• The Strip Club

  Pen and Stink Dept.

  • Jungle Jeff — Dan Thompson
  • Rex in the City — Dustin Glick
  • It Only Hurts When I Laugh — Christopher Baldwin
  • Projectile Vomit Baby — Scott Nickel
    Reprinted in 2 collections

    • Insanely Awesome MAD — 2011
    • Insanely Awesome MAD — Deluxe Edition — 2014
  • Just Below the Surface — Douglas Paszkiewicz
  • Fantabulaman — Ted Rall
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD About Super Heroes — Version 2.5 — 2012
  33–36
• The KFC Triple By-Pass! (ad parody)

  Grease Meets Jest Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo / Photo by Irving Schild

  Reprinted in 4 collections

  • Totally MAD — 2012
  • The Best of the Worst! — Special Collector's Edition 2012
  • Totally Useless MAD — 2013
  • Totally Inside MAD — 2016
  37
• More Sarah Palin Speaking Contract Demands

  The Diva is in the Details Dept.

  Written by David Shayne / Art by Drew Friedman
  38–39
• Spy vs. Spy — 3-D screening lure / cellphone snapper

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • Spy vs. Spy — Fight to the Finish — 2013
  • MAD Presents Spy Vs. Spy — An Explosive Celebration — 2015
  • MAD Presents Spy vs Spy: The Big Blast — Special Collector's Edition 2016
  40–41
• 12 Reasons We Hate Cell Phones

  Can You Jeer Me Now? Dept.

  Written by Barry Liebmann / Art by Peter Bagge

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • Certifiably MAD — 2012
  42–43
• Ad for various MAD Books
  44–45
• scamazon.com (website parody)

  Written by Scott Maiko / various photos
  46–47
• Pestco (ad parody)

  The Pet Offensive Dept.

  Written by Jeff Kruse / various photos
  48–49
• Archie Marries Jughead

  A Grooms' Day Scenario Dept.

  Written by Charlie Kadau / Art by R. Sikoryak
  50–52
• The MAD Vault — 1992

  The Articles Formerly Known as Reprints Dept.

  Featured Article Excerpts and Contributors

  • Eight covers from 1992 interspersed within the following collage of article excerpts:
  • Buttman Returns (movie satire) — Written by Stan Hart / Art by Mort Drucker
  • MAD's Practice S.A.T. Questions — Written by Frank Jacobs
  • The ABC's of Rock — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Rick Tulka
  • The Baffling Biker's Bugaboo — Don (Duck) Edwing
  • When Roadside Signs Overlap — Written by Henry Clark / Art by George Woodbridge
  • Johnnie Warper — Good Taste is Always in Absence — Written by Charlie Kadau and Joe Raiola / Photo by Irving Schild
  • Are You Making a Fashion Statement or Something Else Entirely? — John Caldwell
  • Still More Runners-Up to "The Three Biggest Lies in America" — Written by John Prete / Art by Harry North, Esq.
  • A Best-Seller We'd Like to See — Where's Waldo? For Complete Morons — Sergio Aragones
  • If Blondie Entered the Real Work Place — Written by Stan Hart / Art by Angelo Torres
  • Rules For Games the Way They're Really Played — Written by Michael Goodwin / Art by Jack Davis
  53–55 collage
• One Afternoon in the Confessional

  Father Knows Molest Dept.

  Art by Hermann Mejia
  56
• Fold-In — What situation has many Americans sickened and disgusted?

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Unplugs TV — Special Collector's Edition 2015
  C3