MAD #517 — October 2012

"You can't judge a book by its cover — and the user reviews on Amazon are usually just as worthless!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Contents Page

  It's the List We Can Do Dept.
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.
  2, 4, 6
• Ad for Subscriptions with "Alfred E. Neuman for President" metal Lapel Tab bonus
  3
• Ad for Amazingly Stupid MAD Book
  5
• Ad for MAD App for the iPad
  7
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various obscure places around the magazine)
• The Fundalini Pages

  Random Acts of Mindless Dept.

  Featuring /

  • Transformers 2012: The Rise of Mitt Romney — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Tom Bunk
  • Board Game Factoids #1: Clue — Written by Jeff Kruse
  • Celebrity Cause of Death Betting Odds — Sacha Baron Cohen — Art by Rick Tulka
  • Out to Lynch — soda vending machine in the desert (Mike Lynch)
  • Other Hooters-Inspired "Breastaurants" — Art by Timothy Shamey
  • Board Game Factoids #2: Operation — Written by Jeff Kruse
  • The Fast Five — Why 3D Movies? — Written by Barry Liebmann / Art by Anton Emdin
  • Latest Classified Ads — Written by Scott Maiko
  • Things the Neighbors Never Say After a Serial Killer is Arrested — Art by Bob Staake
  • Board Game Factoids #3: Trivial Pursuit — Written by Jeff Kruse
  • The Kitchen Sink — Least Popular Online Petitions (Kenny Keil)
  • LeLievre and Let LeLievre — grandfather's spirit in the ceiling fan (Glen LeLievre)
  • Board Game Factoids #4: Connect 4 — Written by Jeff Kruse
  • The Cover We Didn't Use — Romney and Obama ride in a dog house on Alfred's car roof — Art by Ray Alma
  • Ways to Solve the World Debt Crisis — Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Charles Akins
  • Board Game Factoids #5: Monopoly — Written by Jeff Kruse
  • How America's Got Talent Has Changed With Howard Stern as a Judge — Written by Matt Lassen / Art by Sam Sisco
  8–10, 12
• Ad for Totally MAD Book
  11
• Ad for the new MadMagazine.com
  13
• The ScAvengers (movie satire)

  Heroes, Sandwiched Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo / Art by Tom Richmond

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • Special Loot Crate Edition of MAD — May 2015
  • MAD Treasure Trove of Trash — Vol. 10 — Jan/Feb 2025
  14–20
• Men's Wealth (magazine satire)

  Lifestyles of the Rich and Heinous Dept.
  21
• Minor Sports Cheaters and Their Shocking Confessions

  There's No "I" in Scheme Dept.

  John Caldwell
  22–23
• MAD's Practical College Prep Courses

  The Perfect Dorm Dept.

  Teresa Burns Parkhurst
  24–25 sample
• Planet TAD!!!!!

  In Blog We Trust Dept.

  Written by Tim Carvell / Art by Brian Durniak
  26–27
• If Their Candidate... If Your Candidate...

  Bias Beware Dept.

  Written by Stan Sinberg / Art by Drew Friedman

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Spoofs Politics — Special Collector's Edition 2014
  28–29
• A MAD Look at the Zoo

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones / Color by Tom Luth

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor — Vol. 1 — Apr/May 2025
  • MAD Fixes Cats — Special Collector's Edition 2025
  30–34
• O — The Obama Magazine (magazine satire)

  Disappointment With Destiny Dept.
  35
• Spy vs. Spy — land mine helicopter magnet / arrow raises wall

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • Spy vs. Spy — Fight to the Finish — 2013
  36–37
• How to Make The Presidential Debates More Interesting

  Show's Improvement Dept.

  Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Rick Geary
  38–39
• Ad for various MAD books
  40
• The Strip Club

  Pen and Stink Dept.

  Featuring /

  • Rods & Cones (Brian Gordon)
  • Mind Games! (Glen LeLievre)
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • Disturbingly Awful MAD — 2013
  • Got Your Nose (Jacob Lambert)
  • It Only Hurts When I Laugh (Christopher Baldwin)
  • Break Time! (Nathan Bulmer and Dustin Harbin)
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • Special Loot Crate Edition of MAD — May 2015
  • Delusions of Gran (Chelsea Carr)
  • Freudian Slap (Eric Scott)
  • Just Below the Surface: The Truth Behind Jack The Ripper (Douglas Paszkiewicz)
  41–44
• Enchanted Lake Storytown Forest (theme park promotional parody)

  Abusement Park Dept.

  Written by Scott Maiko / Art by Scott Bricher and Gary Hallgren
  45–49
• The MAD Vault

  Rotten to the Encore Dept.

  Article from MAD #245: We Won't Miss Them...Or Will We?!? — Paul Peter Porges
  50–52
• Ad for Kindle version of MAD About Super Heroes and other older MAD books
  53
• How Mitt Romney Plans to Win Every State

  No Campaign, No Gain Dept.

  Written by Jeff Kruse

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Spoofs Politics — Special Collector's Edition 2014
  54–55
• The Best of The Idiotical

  Our Daily Dread Dept.

  Featuring /

  • Lance Armstrong — Untrue Blood
  • "New Rules" for The Mets Now That Bill Maher is a Part Owner
  • Other Explosive Vatican Secrets Revealed by the Pope's Butler — Art by Tom Bunk
  • A Sneak Peek at the Facebook Stock Certificate
  56
• Fold-In — What type of high risk activity are many of today's college students engaging in?

  All Jaffee Dept.

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • Completely MAD — 1991
  • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964–2010 — 2011
  C3 sample
• Back Cover — Native American Sputum — 100% Noxious Tobacco (ad parody)

  Smoke Gets in Their Lies Dept.

  Written by Scott Maiko

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • The Best of the Worst! — Special Collector's Edition 2012

  First issue since MAD #402 (February 2001) to have a back cover article and not an advertisement
  C4