MAD #518 — December 2012

"For most people, being reflective means spending hours in front of a mirror!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Contents Page

  It's the List We Can Do Dept.
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • Photo of Tom Richmond holding Reuben Award surrounded by Nick Meglin, Al Jaffee, Jack Davis, Sergio Aragones, and Sam Viviano; "Why? Your legs aren't broken!" — Jacob Lambert / Henry Childs idea
  2, 4, 6
• Ad for Subscriptions with "Alfred E. Neuman for President" metal Lapel Tab bonus
  3
• Ad for Totally MAD Book
  5
• Ad for MAD App for the iPad
  7
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• The Fundalini Pages

  Random Acts of Mindless Dept.

  Featuring /

  • Your Handy Election-Year Glossary — Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Ward Sutton
  • Fascinating Facts About the Human Body — Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Bob Staake
  • Celebrity Cause of Death Betting Odds — Louis C.K. — Art by Rick Tulka
  • Gimme a Flake — sponsor bothered during game (Emily Flake)
  • Fundalini Asks… What if the Letter "L" Didn't Exist? — Written by Jeff Kruse
  • Horrifying Political Clichés — Written by Nick Meglin / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.
  • Ladies and Gentleman… It's Romney Dangerfield! — Art by Sam Sisco
  • Donnie the Douche's Tips for a Great Halloween — Written by Jeff Kruse
  • What Are Those QR Codes Really? — Written by Jay Rath
  • An Ad We'd Like to See — Ask iPhone's Siri — "Who should I vote for this November?"
  • The Silly Six — Why Lil Wayne Really Quit Music to Focus on Skateboarding — Written by Kenny Keil / Art by Hermann Mejia
  • Bitterman — watching the Presidential Debates (Garth Gerhart)
  • Things We All Expect to Hear on Our Bank's Automated Phone Menu — Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Peter Bagge
  • Four Worst Gadgets of the Year from Brookstone — Written by Dick DeBartolo / Art by John Caldwell
  8–12
• Ad for MAD's Greatest Artists — Mort Drucker Book
  13
• The Toilet Saga (movie satires)

  There's a Bloodsucker Born Every Minute Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Anton Emdin

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor — Vol. 3 — December 2025
  14–21
• Are You an Activist or a Slacktivist?

  There's an Apathy for That Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor — Vol. 2 — Aug/Sep 2025
  22–23
• A MAD Look At College

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones / Color by Tom Luth

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor — Vol. 2 — Aug/Sep 2025
  24–27
• 2013 Calendar: The Year of the Hammerhead

  In One Year and Out the Other Dept.

  John Caldwell
  28–29
• Is Barack Obama a Real American?

  Alien Notion Dept.

  Written by Barry Liebmann / Art by Tom Richmond
  30–31 sample
• Spy vs. Spy — bomb shelter flusher / rattle snake cane

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • Spy vs. Spy — Fight to the Finish — 2013
  32–33
• Planet TAD!!!!!

  In Blog We Trust Dept.

  Written by Tim Carvell
  34–35
• Ad for MAD Books
  36–37
• The MAD Vault

  Rotten to the Encore Dept.

  Article from MAD #96: The Lighter Side of The Boss — Dave Berg
  38–41
• You're a Great Pageant Mom if...

  The Measures of Tiara Madres Dept.

  Teresa Burns Parkhurst

  Reprinted in 4 collections

  • Inside MAD — 2013
  • MAD Choice Cuts — Special Collector's Edition 2014
  • Totally Inside MAD — 2016
  • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor — Vol. 3 — December 2025
  42–43
• Trademark Graffiti

  The Brandwriting is On the Wall Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Evan Dorkin and Sarah Dyer
  44–46 sample
• The Strip Club

  Pen and Stink Dept.

  Featuring /

  • WTF, Jeff? — Written by Kit Lively / Art by Scott Nickel
  • One Foot in the Grave (Christopher Baldwin)
  • Party Pants (Alex Cline)
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • Intensely Dumb MAD — 2013
  • Brown Bear (Noah Van Sciver)
  • Good Enough (Peet Tamburino)
  • Anywhere But the Face — Matt Lassen and Tom Hart
  • Ooze — Life at the Bottom of the Food Chain (Dan Shefelman)
  • Detective Slow-on-the-Draw! (Jason Yungbluth)
  • What If Dog Was One Of Us? (Kenny Keil)
  47–50
• Newspapers Weigh In on This Year's Least Important Ballot Propositions

  Whatever Floats Your Vote Dept.

  Written by Scott Maiko / Art by Kevin Pope
  51–53
• New Shows on the All-Pirate Network

  Hook, Lineup & Stinkers Dept.

  Written by Frank Santopadre / Art by Tom Bunk
  54–55
• The Best of The Idiotical

  Our Daily Dread Dept.

  • Romney Boy
  • The Depends-ables 2 — Stallone
  • Real Reasons Why MTV Cancelled Jersey Shore
  • Other Surprises About the Bin Laden Raid Revealed in the Book "No Easy Day"
  56
• Fold-In — What forbidden reading material is stirring passions across the nation?

  All Jaffee Dept.

  Al Jaffee
  C3
• Back Cover — Expectorate Native American Sputum (ad parody)

  Smoke Gets in Their Lies Dept.
  C4