MAD #520 — April 2013

"Yoga is great practice for marriage — all you do is bend over backwards when someone tells you to!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Ad for MAD App for the iPad
  C2
• Contents Page

  It's the List We Can Do Dept.
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • Peter Kuper illustrated covers for German magazines; pictures of Halloween costume wearers
  4–6
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various obscure places around the magazine) summary
• The Fundalini Pages

  Random Acts of Mindless Dept.

  Featuring /

  • Cataclysmic Scenarios and Prophecies to Ignore in 2013 — Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Charles Akins
  • Gallup Poll Results on Creation/Evolution — Written by Jeff Kruse
  • The Yungbluth & The Restless — mad dog conspiracist — Jason Yungbluth
  • Celebrity Cause of Death Betting Odds — Taylor Swift — Art by Rick Tulka
  • The Final "Bazooka Joe" Comic — Written by Desmond Devlin
  • Rejected Fortune Cookies
  • What to Expect from Saudi Arabia's New All-Female City — Written by Matt Lassen / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.
  • Graphic Novel Review — Diary of a Walking Dead Kid — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Ty Templeton
  • NFL Player or Game of Thrones Character? — Written by Matt Lassen / Art by Evan Dorkin and Sarah Dyer
  • The Cover We Didn't Use — Special "Usual Gangnam of Idiots" Issue
  • Vey to Go! — gender instability — P. C. Vey
  • An Honest Item Return Label — Written by Jeff Kruse
  • Easy Ways to Lose Weight — Written by Dick DeBartolo / Art by Kevin Pope
  • Haggerty Will Get You Nowhere — "Go ahead, brandish it." — Tim Haggerty
  • More Rejected Fortune Cookies
  • Least Utilized Police Codes — Written by Matt Lassen / Art by Leonardo Rodriguez
  • The Stupid Seven — Why Americans Are Still Hesitant to Embrace Soccer — Written by Matt Lassen / Art by Phil McAndrew
  8–12
• The 50 Worst Things About Cartoons

  Back to the Drawing Bored Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin, Jeff Kruse, and Scott Maiko / Art by Peter Bagge, Anton Emdin, Adam Koford, and Hermann Mejia
  14–20
• Honey Boo Boo's Family Circus

  Low-Class Dismissed Dept.

  Written by Frank Santopadre / Art by Tom Richmond
  21–23
• Planet TAD!!!!!

  In Blog We Trust Dept.

  Written by Tim Carvell
  24–25
• Spy vs. Spy — top secret magic paint / traffic signal falls on texter

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • Spy vs. Spy — Fight to the Finish — 2013
  • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor — Vol. 2 — Aug/Sep 2025
  26–27
• MAD's Tom Bunk Visits a High School Lunchroom

  Failure to Lunch Dept.

  Tom Bunk

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD #33 — October 2023
  • MAD Treasure Trove of Trash — Vol. 6 — Jul/Aug 2023
  • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor — Vol. 2 — Aug/Sep 2025
  28–29
• Ad for various MAD books
  30–31
• You've Hired the Wrong Life Coach If...

  Mentor Illness Dept.

  John Caldwell
  32–33
• A MAD Look at Washington

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones / Color by Tom Luth
  34–37
• Phrases That Left the English Language in 2012

  Humor in a Vernacular Vein Dept.

  Written by Matt Lassen / Art by Ward Sutton
  38–39 sample
• MAD's Do-It-Yourself Adventure Time Episode

  And That's the Blanks You Get Dept.

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • Inside MAD — 2013
  • MAD Picks — Special Collector's Edition 2013
  • MAD Unplugs TV — Special Collector's Edition 2015
  40–41
• Ad for Totally MAD Book
  42
• The Strip Club

  Pen and Stink Dept.

  • Rods & Cones — Brian Gordon
  • Sticker Shock — Matt Lassen and David DeGrand
  • What If Dog Was One Of Us? — Kenny Keil
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD #24 — April 2022
  • Anywhere But the Face — Matt Lassen and Tom Hart
  • Brown Bear — Noah Van Sciver
  • hanging by a thread — Nate Fakes
  • It Only Hurts When I Laugh — Christopher Baldwin
  • WTF, Jeff? — Written by Kit Lively / Art by Scott Nickel
  • Mister Morals — Lance Hansen
  43–46
• Gangreens (ad parody)

  Flyer Sale Dept.

  Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Scott Bricher
  47–49
• Ad for Subscriptions

  with #154 bonus print
  50
• The MAD Vault

  Rotten to the Encore Dept.

  Article from MAD #321: Spin Doctors for the Rest of Us — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Rick Tulka
  51–53
• Frequently Overlooked Benefits of Being a Zombie

  The Ungrateful Dead Dept.

  Tom Cheney / Color by Carl Peterson

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD #22 — December 2021
  • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor — Vol. 2 — Aug/Sep 2025
  54–55
• The Best of The Idiotical

  Our Daily Dread Dept.

  Featuring /

  • Life of Pee
  • What To Expect When Kim's Expecting
  • 5-Hour Enema
  • Monopoly Pieces for Modern America
  • The Unabridged NRA News Release
  56
• Fold-In — For many Americans, what is the most important form they will ever fill out?

  All Jaffee Dept.

  Al Jaffee
  C3
• Back Cover — God Bless Our Assault Weapons — A MAD Sampler

  Needlepoint by Deborah Mills Woodbridge
  C4