MAD #523 — October 2013

"If you're not a part of the solution, then you're part of the vast majority!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Contents Page

  It's the List We Can Do Dept.
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • George R.R. Martin with MAD #521 sample
  2, 4, 6
• Ad for Subscriptions — MAD #94 bonus print
  5
• Ad for Inside MAD book
  7
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various obscure places around the magazine)
• The Fundalini Pages

  Random Acts of Mindless Dept.

  • The Cover We Didn't Use — We Celebrate the Right of Gays to Marry — featuring Ellen DeGeneres and Neil Patrick Harris — Art by Sam Sisco
  • MAD Poll Results — What do terrorists think of the NSA having access to their Internet and phone records? — Written by Shira Rachel Danan
  • Why Building a Replica of the Titanic is a Good Idea — Written by Matt Lassen / Art by Peter Bagge
  • Honest iPhone Email Signature Signoffs — Written by Alex J. Mann
  • Branium Bogglinators — A Fishy Problem — Written by Darren Johnson / Art by Chris Houghton
  • Celebrity Cause of Death Betting Odds — Chris Brown — Art by Rick Tulka
  • The Fast 5 — Features of the New Boeing Dreamliner Jet — Written by Shira Rachel Danan / Art by Rich Powell
  • The Speedy 7 — Reasons They Should Allow Women to Become Priests — Written by Teresa Burns Parkhurst / Art by Kevin Pope
  • Vey To Go — witness without pants (P. C. Vey)
  • Branium Bogglinators — Daze of the Week — Written by Darren Johnson / Art by Chris Houghton
  • Pool Toys No One Bought — Written by Nate Chastain / Art by John Martz
  • Mobster or Male Porn Star? — Written by Matt Lassen / Art by Hermann Mejia
  • Better Nate Than Never — never talk politics or religion (Nate Fakes)
  • World Language Facts — Written by Jeff Kruse
  • Fun Facts About Mars — Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by John Caldwell
  • The Hart of the Matt-er — urinal-powered horse-racing carnival game — Written by Matt Lassen / Art by Tom Hart
  • Branium Bogglinators — An Age-Old Dilemma — Written by Darren Johnson / Art by Chris Houghton
  • The Speedier 7 — Things You May Not Know About the Jury System — Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Anton Emdin
  • More Honest iPhone Email Signature Signoffs — Written by Alex J. Mann
  8–12
• Ad for The Golden Treasury of Trash
  13
• Ho-Hum Land (TV satire)

  Claire and Present Danger Dept.

  Written by David Shayne / Art by Tom Richmond

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Unplugs TV — Special Collector's Edition 2015
  • MAD #18 — April 2021
  14–19
• Rules of Office Cubicle Etiquette

  Thinking Inside the Box Dept.

  Tom Cheney / Color by Carl Peterson

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD #47 — February 2026
  20–21
• Ad for MAD books
  22–23
• The MAD Vault

  Rotten to the Encore Dept.

  Article from MAD #145: What Coaches Say in Public and in Private — Written by Paul Peter Porges / Art by Jack Davis
  24–26
• A Fairy Tale We'd Like to See: Goldilocks

  The Grimm Sleeper Dept.

  Written by Matt Lassen / Art by Tom Bunk

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD #547 — October 2017 (MAD Vault)
  27
• Planet TAD!!!!!

  In Blog We Trust Dept.

  Written by Tim Carvell
  28–29
• A MAD Look at the Theatre

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones / Color by Tom Luth
  30–33
• 9 Reasons Technology Sucks

  Reality Bytes Dept.

  Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by John Kerschbaum
  34–35
• Global Warming Haiku

  No Rhyme or Season Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Paul Coker
  36–37 sample
• Ad for the first 23 comic book issues of MAD
  38
• The Strip Club

  Pen and Stink Dept.

  • Projectile Vomit Baby (Scott Nickel)
  • One Foot in the Grave (Christopher Baldwin)
  • Jump Cut — World War Z (Paul Gilligan)
  • The Bearded Kid (Kevin Werth)
  • 360 Degrees of Separation (Jason Yungbluth)
  • Deadly Survival (Nathan Cooper)
  • Brown Bear (Noah Van Sciver)
  • Trigger McBride in "Race Track Round Up" (Peet Tamburino)
  39–42
• The Clear-Crap X-None Digital Antenna! — ad parody

  An Embarrassment of Richard's Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo
  43
• The Influence of 50 Shades of Grey on Modern Weddings

  The Hurt Mocker Dept.

  Teresa Burns Parkhurst
  44–45
• Spy vs. Spy — club filled with acid / tethered fake spy

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • Spy vs. Spy — Fight to the Finish — 2013
  46–47
• Chilling Thoughts — 2013 Edition

  The Fright Stuff Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Evan Dorkin and Sarah Dyer
  48–50
• Silliams-Wonoma — The Catalog For Kooks

  Too Many Crooks in the Kitchen Dept.

  Written by Scott Maiko / Art by Scott Bricher
  51–55
• The Best of The Idiotical — stuff from MAD's blog

  Our Daily Dread Dept.

  • It's Fun To Strike Down the D-O-M-A
  • Proof That Vladimir Putin Stole the Super Bowl Ring
  • Paula Deen's Career is Gone With the Wind
  • MAD Asks: What Do You See?
  • Why Men's Wearhouse Fired its Founder, George Zimmer
  56
• Fold-In — What long-dormant enterprise has the Obama administration successfully revived in America?

  All Jaffee Dept.

  Al Jaffee
  C3