MAD Magazine Letter Pages Recurring Features
Antiques Freakshow with Hans Brickface
in Order of Appearance in Regular Issues
MAD told the readers in Issue #439 that MAD's own expert appraiser, Hans Brickface, had been hired to evaluate all of MAD's readers' precious heirlooms, collectibles and tchotchkes on the Letters Page. All the reader needed to do was send a clear photograph of the item and a brief description of where it came from, how much was paid for it and any other helpful information about it. MAD told readers, “Who knows how much your useless crap is actually worth!”
Readers were told to send pics to Amy “The Big Appraiser”.
| Feature Title | Item Description | Appraised Value | Issue / Date |
|---|---|---|---|
| Antiques Freakshow | (Initial MAD Request for Pictures) | 439 — Mar 2004 | |
| Antiques Freakshow with Hans Brickface | Toucan Letter Holder | $10 Canadian. | 442 — Jun 2004 |
| Antiques Freakshow with Hans Brickface | Rocky and Bullwinkle Lunchbox | Less than the $15 paid for it. If you saved the lunch, you might be sitting on an edible goldmine. | 443 — Jul 2004 |
| Antiques Freakshow with Hans Brickface | Ceramic Monkey Doctor | $40. Complete set of “Professional Monkey Workers” worth upwards of $5,000 (includes Monkey Lawyer, Monkey Securities Trader, Monkey Telemarketer). | 446 — Oct 2004 |
| Antiques Freakshow with Hans Brickface | Two statues of women (which were the base of table lamps) made in Paris in the late 1800s and MAD Issues #1 and #2 | $800 for whatever is in the red apple cookie jar shown in the picture. | 448 — Dec 2004 |
| Antiques Freakshow with Hans Brickface | 1960's Hai Karate cologne/aftershave gift set | Collector's value: $18. Sentimental value: Priceless. | 450 — Feb 2005 |
| Antiques Freakshow with Hans Brickface | Pinocchio Bank | Somewhere in between the disembodied skull of Magilla Gorilla and the torso-less Grape Ape. | 453 — May 2005 |
| Antiques Freakshow with Hans Brickface | Frog sitting on the back of a colorful three-legged turtle | Set is worth 130 Krona, or $50 in IKEA store credit. | 457 — Sep 2005 |
| Antiques Freakshow with Hans Brickface | (Bought an item and wants to know what it is) | (Sphere of half-eaten, petrified marshmallows.) No market value. Joke played at your expense: Priceless. | 462 — Feb 2006 |
| Antiques Freakshow with Hans Brickface | Two Shaving Mugs (One Hand Painted) | (Can't think of the possible collectibility and pricing of the items.) | 468 — Aug 2006 |
| Antiques Freakshow with Hans Brickface | Relic from the Gilligan Dynasty | (A coconut depiction of Britney Spears which is actually a self-portrait carved by Britney.) Nothing special, but shows more creativity than any of her albums. | 477 — May 2007 |
| Antiques Freakshow | Lamby Lamp | Don’t know what it is worth, but would pay ANY price to never have to lay eyes on it again. | 502 — Jan 2010 |
Compiled by John R. Racano
Antiques Freakshow with Hans Brickface — from #457, September 2005