MAD #450 — February 2005

"Your parents are right when they say they won't always be there to fight your battles for you — that's because they'll be the ones you're fighting against!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Contents Page
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • Photos from the Aaron’s 312 NASCAR Race held at Atlanta Motor Speedway, Oct. 30, 2004, in which MAD sponsored two cars. Photo of Jason Ritter, Joe Mantegna, Amber Tamblyn, Mary Steenburgen, Michael Welch with MAD #440
  2–4
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• Steve Madden Football (ad parody)

  The Agony of De-feet Dept.

  Written by Dave Croatto / Art by Jack Syracuse
  6–7
• The Fundalini Pages

  Random Acts of Mindless Dept.

  Friends of Fundalini Notes

  • “Friends of Fundalini” list of contributors not originally attached to the articles in this section: Charles Akins, Ray Alma, Tom Cheney, Dick DeBartolo, Desmond Devlin, Evan Dorkin, Garth Gerhart, Al Jaffee, Jeff Kruse, Barry Liebmann, Patrick Merrell, Kevin Pope, Mike Snider, Jack Syracuse — DETAILS

  • Celebrity Cause of Death Betting Odds — Terrell Owens — Written by Mike Snider / Art by Jack Syracuse
  • Magazine Corrections You May Have Missed — Ganymede is a moon of Jupiter, not Saturn — Written by Jeff Kruse
  • Bitterman — first-date chauffeur — Garth Gerhart
  • The Puzzle Nook — “Stop the ---sses!” — Patrick Merrell
  • Patent of the Month — self-cleaning in-seat toilet for airline passengers — Al Jaffee
  • Pull My Cheney! — borrowing the kitchen knife after a murder — Tom Cheney
  • Fundalini Foto News: Tara Reid's Wardrobe Malfunction
  • Celebrity New Year's Resolutions That Have Already Been Broken — Art by Charles Akins
  • Monkeys Are Always Funny — The Assassination of President Lincoln — Evan Dorkin
  • Melvin & Jenkins' Guide to Hospital Visits — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Kevin Pope
  • Little Known Post-2004 Election Statistics — Art by Ray Alma
  8–10
• Ad for Peter Kuper's Sticks and Stones and Metamorphosis books
  11
• Two and a Half Wits (TV satire)

  Smells Like Sheen Spirit Dept.

  Written by Arnie Kogen / Art by Tom Richmond

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #25 — May 2009
  12–16
• 6 Degrees of Separation Between Anyone and Anything — Part VIII

  The Dissing Link Dept.

  Written by Mike Snider / Art by Rick Tulka
  18–19
• Viewing Guide to Super Bowl Halftime Counterprogramming

  Broadcast Boos Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Drew Friedman
  22–24
• Duke Bissell's Tales of Undisputed Interest — a roach in the salad

  Wizard of Odd Dept.

  P. C. Vey
  25
• Spy vs. Spy 2005 Calendar

  Joke and Dater Dept.

  Art by Peter Kuper
  26, 31
• Broadcast Highlights and Innovations to Watch For in Super Bowl XXXIX

  The Offend Zone Dept.

  John Caldwell
  32–35
• Spy vs. Spy — boat and plane slingshot double-play

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • Spy Vs. Spy 2 — The Joke and Dagger Files — 2007
  • Spy vs. Spy — The Top Secret Files — 2011
  36–37
• A MAD Look at The Incredibles

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD About Super Heroes — volume 2 — 2010
  • MAD About Super Heroes — version 2.5 — 2012
  38–41
• Suggested Titles for the Next Indiana Jones Movie

  May the Ford Be With You Dept.

  Written by Matthew A. Cohen / Art by Hermann Mejia

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • White Castle Goes MAD — 2005
  • MAD Classics #5 — February 2006
  • This Is Your Brain On MAD — Special Collector's Edition 2015
  42–43
• A Series of Unfortunate Outtakes from Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events

  Helping Handler Dept.
  44–46
• Monroe and… the Swap

  Angster's Paradise Dept.

  Written by Anthony Barbieri / Art by Bill Wray
  47–50
• Which Simpsons Character is Gay?

  Homersexuals Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Gary Hallgren

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #25 — May 2009
  51–53
• Lines Cut From George W. Bush's 2005 Inauguration Speech

  Address Code Dept.

  Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Sam Sisco

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • The MAD War on Bush — 2007
  • MAD Spoofs Politics — Special Collector's Edition 2014
  54–55
• Another Morning on Fifth Avenue

  Trump Roast Dept.

  Written by Don (Duck) Edwing / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • Epic MAD — 2012
  • Amazingly Stupid MAD — Expanded Edition — 2013
  • MAD About Trump — 2017
  56 sample
• Fold-In — What controversial transportation issue has politicians in an uproar?

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964–2010 — 2011
  C3
• Back Cover — Spy vs. Spy Ad for Mountain Dew
  C4