Mad #381 May 1999

• Cover Artist: Scott Bricher

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• Subscription Ad - "Dan Brown" dressed as a lobster
  (written by Joe Raiola / Irving Schild photos) (C2)
• Contents Page (1)
• "There's no business like show business, although in terms of compassion, the Mafia comes close!" -- Alfred E. Neuman
• Letters (Charlton Heston reacts to back of #377)
  (promo for Totally Mad CD-Roms due Fall 1999) (2-3)
  • Barbara and Christopher Purdom - Interfaith Working Group Coordinators - Philadelphia, PA
  • New York Daily News editorial cartoon reprinted
  • Associate Art Director Nadina Simon holding #373 pictured with Arlo Guthrie
  • Anonymous - Tacoma, WA
  • Sheila MacDonald - New Brunswick, Canada
• Ad for Super Special May 1999 #137 -
  Double Sided - Mad Mocks Fox TV / School Sucks
• Sergio Aragones Drawn-Out Dramas (summary)
  **various places around the magazine
• The Diary of a Tomb Raider Fanatic
  (written by Desmond Devlin / Scott Bricher art) (4-7)
• How the NBA Plans to Win back the Love of Their Former Fans (written by Desmond Devlin / Keith Seidel art) (8-9)
• Monroe &... Las Vegas - Part I
  (written by Anthony Barbieri / Bill Wray art) (10-13)
• Pop Up Porno Videos (14-16)
  (written by Andrew J. Schwartzberg / Hermann Mejia art)
• Tofu Times - The New Age Newspaper
  (written by Charlie Kadau and Joe Raiola)
  (James Warhola art) (17-21)
• Instant TV Reviews
  (written by Russ Cooper / Grey Blackwell art) (22-23)
• Brutally Honest Flight Attendant Announcements
  (written by Amy Gillett / Tom Bunk art) (24-25)
• Spy vs. Spy - tank crushed by dominos (Peter Kuper) (26-28)
• Scenes from the Antiques Freakshow (TV satire)
  (written by Charlie Richards / Bill Wray art) (29-31)
• The Paranoid Psychotic's Guide to Foiling Paparazzi
  (John Caldwell) (32-33)
• Introducing Gravel Vista Gardens
  (written by Jeff Kruse / George Woodbridge art) (34)
• Sub-brainy The Teenage Wretch (TV satire)
  (written by Dick DeBartolo / Paul Coker, Jr. art) (35-38)
• A Mad Guide to Mr. Right and Mr. Wrong
  (written by Dave Croatto / Rick Tulka art) (39-41)
• A Mad Look at Hotels (Sergio Aragones) (42-44)
• Mad's Science Fiction Primer
  (written by Desmond Devlin / Mort Drucker art) (45-47)
• Mad's Celebrity Cause-Of-Death Betting Odds:
  Oprah Winfrey
  (written by Mike Snider / Hermann Mejia art) (48)
• Fold-In -- What epic struggle will resume this summer
  but fail to live up to its predecessor? (Al Jaffee) (C3)
• Back Cover -- Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions
  - Special All-Smoking Edition (Al Jaffee)