MAD #389 — January 2000

"The reason most people talk to themselves is because they're often the only ones who will listen!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Ad for Subscriptions

  Kelly Freas art from MAD #52
  C2
• Contents Page

  Notes

  • The Duck Stops Here — Don (Duck) Edwing
  1, 3
• Ad for MAD XL #1 — January 2000

  featuring Frank Jacobs's The MAD World of William M. Gaines — Part 1
  2
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • MAD Blurb — Terry Gilliam, Al Roker with MAD #383
  4–5
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• The Supremos (TV satire)

  Guns 'n' Neurosis Dept.

  Written by Arnie Kogen / Art by Mort Drucker

  Reprinted in 4 collections

  • MAD About The Mob — 2002
  • MAD Classics #14 — April 2007
  • Totally MAD — 2012
  • MAD Unplugs TV — Special Collector's Edition 2015
  6–11
• Monroe &... Christmas

  Angster's Paradise Dept.

  Written by Anthony Barbieri / Art by Bill Wray

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #4 — January 2006
  12–15
• Absurd Man of Alcatraz

  Tales from the Duck Side Dept.

  Don (Duck) Edwing
  16
• The MAD 20 Dumbest People, Events and Things of 1999

  (introduction page)

  Featuring /

  • 1. Y2K Panic — Art by Tom Bunk

    Reprinted in 2 collections

    • MAD #30 — April 2023 (excerpt)
    • MAD Treasure Trove of Trash — Vol. 5 — Apr/May 2023 (excerpt)

    18
  • 2. Hillary Clinton's World (Andrew Wyeth's Christina's World painting parody) —
    Art by Richard Williams

    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD Art — 2002 (excerpt)

    19
  • 3. Teen Exploitation Flicks — "Movie Title Graffiti" — Written by Russ Cooper 20
  • 4. Livin' La Vida Overrated —
    "When Other Artists Jump on the Latin Music Craze" — Art by Hermann Mejia 20
  • 5. George W. Bush's Snow Job — "got coke?" (got milk? ad parody) — Photos by Irving Schild

    Reprinted in 2 collections

    • The MAD War on Bush — 2007
    • MAD #497 — January 2009

    21
  • 6. Jerry Falwell Takes On Tinky-Winky — "Televangelist-Tubbies" —
    Written by Charlie Kadau / Art by Jack Syracuse 22
  • 7. Around the Clock John F. Kennedy Jr. Crash Coverage (People magazine cover parody) — Written by David Shayne and Joe Raiola 23
  • 8. America's Hang Up With Cell Phones — "The Talker" (Rodin's The Thinker parody) 23
  • 9. Sega Introduces the Dreamcast — "Buy 'R' Toys" (Toys ' R' Us ad parody) —
    Written by Scott Maiko / Art by Scott Bricher 24–25
  • 10. The Umpires Strike Out — "Taken Out of the Ball Game" (Take Me Out to the Ball Game song parody) — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Keith Seidel 25
  • 11. The Blair Witch Project — "Eerie Comparisons Between The Wizard of Oz and The Blair Witch Project" — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Sam Sisco

    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD #16 — December 2020

    26 sample
  • 12. Monica Tells All — "Phrases That We Knew Would Never Appear in Monica Lewinsky's Autobiography" — Written by Jeff Kruse / Photo by Irving Schild 26 sample
  • 13. Woodstock '99 — "3 Days of Pricey Mayhem" (3 Days of Peace & Music poster parody) — Written by Scott Maiko

    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD #13 — June 2020

    27
  • 14. Stock Market Frenzy — "A Typical Investment Ad For Suckers (Like You!)" —
    Written by Dick DeBartolo and Jim Johnstone / Art by George Woodbridge 28
  • 15. Beanie Babies Call It Quits... Yeah, Right! — "The Telltale Signs of Post-Beanie Syndrome" — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Lisa Haney 29
  • 16. Random Acts of Senseless Violence — "A Bumper Sticker We're Sure to See" —
    Written by Michael Gallagher / Photo by Irving Schild

    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD #11 — February 2020

    29
  • 17. Tae-Bo Fitness For Fools — "Tie-Blo" (ad parody) —
    Written by Mike Snider / Photo by Irving Schild 30
  • 18. List-O-Mania! — "12 Stupid Lists You May Have Missed" — Written by Tom Stern 30
  • 19. Pamela Anderson's Breast Implants — Fold-In — Al Jaffee 31
  • 20. Jar-Jar Binks — "A Movie Poster We'd All Like to See" — Art by Roberto Parada

    Reprinted in 3 collections

    • MAD About Star Wars — 2007
    • MAD Spoofs Sci-Fi and Fantasy — Special Collector's Edition 2018
    • MAD Spoofs Star Wars — Special Collector's Edition 2019

    32
  17
• The Sick Sense (movie satire)

  Dead Man Working Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo / Art by Angelo Torres

  Reprinted in 5 collections

  • MAD About The Oscars — 2004
  • MAD Classics #3 — November 2005
  • MAD About the Movies — Director's Cut — 2008
  • Horrifyingly MAD — 2011
  • MAD Spoofs Movie Classics — Special Collector's Edition 2015
  33–36
• A MAD Look at Parking

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  37–39
• Melvin & Jenkins' Guide to the Millennium

  The Schmucks Stop Here Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Kevin Pope
  40–41
• Spy vs. Spy — high-decibel skull-vice headphones

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • Spy Vs. Spy 2 — The Joke and Dagger Files — 2007
  42–43
• MAD's 1999 Political Christmas Carols

  Oh Little Town of Washington Dept.

  Written by Frank Jacobs / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Spoofs Politics — Special Collector's Edition 2014
  44–47
• MAD's Celebrity Cause-Of-Death Betting Odds: Conan O'Brien

  Grieving Las Vegas Dept.

  Written by Mike Snider / Art by Hermann Mejia

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #1 — August 2005
  48
• Fold-In — What ball are many people anxiously waiting to see finally drop?

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • Totally MAD — 2012
  • Totally Inside MAD — 2016
  • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964–2010 — 2011
  C3
• Back Cover — A Monumental Disaster

  Written by Frank Jacobs / Art by Mark Stutzman
  C4