MAD #394 — June 2000

"Americans are the only people looking for a short cut to the quick fix!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Ad for Subscriptions

  Norman Mingo art from MAD #122
  C2
• Contents Page

  Notes

  • Pull My Cheney — bean-bag chair (Tom Cheney)
  1, 3
• Ad for MAD XL #3 — June 2000

  featuring Frank Jacobs's The MAD World of William M. Gaines — Part 3
  2
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • Photo of the NHRA MAD Ugly Car, John McCain Celebrity Snap with MAD #364, examples of George W. Bush / Alfred E. Neuman "striking physical resemblance"
  4–5
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• The Malpractice (TV satire)

  Witless for the Defense Dept.

  Written by Josh Gordon / Art by Mort Drucker
  6–10
• High School Yearbook Inscriptions You're Sure to See

  2 Trite 2B 4 Got-10 Dept.

  Written by Kenny Byerly / Art by James Warhola

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #8 — July 2006
  11–13
• A New Millennium Update to MAD's Table of Little Known and Very Useless Weights, Measures and Distances

  Statis-tickle Dept.

  Written by John Prete / Art by Bob Staake

  Reprinted in 4 collections

  • MAD Classics #9 — September 2006
  • Totally MAD — 2012
  • The Golden Treasury of Trash — Special Collector's Edition 2013
  • Totally Inside MAD — 2016
  14–15
• The Downside of Online Shopping

  A Site for Store Eyes Dept.

  John Caldwell

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #12 — January 2007
  16–17
• Monroe &... The Foreign Exchange Student

  Angster's Paradise Dept.

  Written by Anthony Barbieri / Art by Bill Wray
  18–21
• The Pokémon Collectors Hall of Fame

  Team Schlock-it Dept.

  Written by Mike Snider / Art by R.J. Matson
  22–23
• Bumper Stickers That Reflect Real School Life

  Cars and Defects Dept.

  Written by Jeff Kruse / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • The MAD Student Survival Guide — 2002
  • MAD Classics #10 — October 2006
  • Intensely Dumb MAD — 2013
  24–25
• The Ex-Files

  Tales from the Duck Side Dept.

  Don (Duck) Edwing
  26
• Wes Craven

  "I Have a Scream" Dept.

  with apologies to Edgar Allan Poe

  Written by Andrew J. Schwartzberg / Art by Bill Wray

  Reprinted in 4 collections

  • MAD XL #25 — January 2004
  • Horrifyingly MAD — 2011
  • MAD Spoofs Horror — Special Collector's Edition 2017
  • MAD #16 — December 2020
  27–29 sample
• One Fine Day in the Animal Testing Lab

  Better Ape Than Never Dept.

  Written by Michael Gallagher / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD #45 — October 2025
  30
• The Lighter Side of...

  Berg's-Eye View Dept.

  Dave Berg

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD XL #34 — July 2005
  31–34
• Tem-Por-Peddle-It Mattress (ad parody)

  An Embarrassment of Richard's Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo / Art by James Warhola
  35
• MAD's Commencement Address for the Class of 2000

  Crap and Gown Dept.

  Written by Mike Snider / Art by Tom Bunk

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #15 — June 2007
  36–37
• Spy vs. Spy — razor-sharp hat and briefcase axe

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • Spy Vs. Spy 2 — The Joke and Dagger Files — 2007
  38–39
• MAD Anagrams

  Letters Entertain You Dept.

  Written by Patrick Merrell / Art by Sam Sisco
  40
• A MAD Look at Parents

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  41–44
• Still More Obituaries for Merchandising Characters

  Mourning News Dept.

  Written by Frank Jacobs / Art by Scott Bricher

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #3 — November 2005
  45–47
• MAD's Celebrity Cause-Of-Death Betting Odds: Regis Philbin

  Grieving Las Vegas Dept.

  Written by Mike Snider / Art by Hermann Mejia
  48
• Fold-In — What rocker is everyone sick of listening to?

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964–2010 — 2011
  C3
• Back Cover — Magnetic Personality

  Written by Michael Gallagher / Art by Tom Bunk

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • The MAD Gross Book — 2001
  C4