Mad #397 September 2000

• Cover Artist: Roberto Parada

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• Ad for Mad's Website madmag.com (C2)
• Vey To Go - car-driving bear (P. C. Vey)
• Contents Page (1-3)
• "Many a good egg ends up
  getting beaten!" -- Alfred E. Neuman
• Ad for Color Classics #2 - September 2000
• Letters
  (photos - 20 years apart - of Deborah Harry with Mad) (4-5)
• Sergio Aragones Drawn-Out Dramas (summary)
  **various places around the magazine
• Gatorador (movie satire)
  (written by Arnie Kogen / Angelo Torres art) (6-10)
• Monroe &... The High Seas - Part Two:
  The Monkey Island Massacre
  (written by Anthony Barbieri / Bill Wray art) (11-14)
• Legitimate Gripes of Your Average Serial Killer
  (John Caldwell) (15-17)
• Melvin & Jenkins' Guide to Hospitals
  (written by Desmond Devlin / Kevin Pope art) (18-19)
• Alternate Designs for the New $20 Bill
  (written by Darren Johnson / Scott Bricher art) (20-23)
• Letters to Britney Spears
  (written by Mike Snider / Jack Syracuse art) (24-25)
• Spy vs. Spy - credit card bomb (Peter Kuper) (26-27)
• A Mad Peek Behind the Scenes at a Modern Health Spa
  (written by Dick DeBartolo / Paul Coker, Jr. art) (28-29)
• Modern Celebrity Couple Dilemmas
  (written by Mike Snider / Rick Tulka art) (30-32)
• Mad's Modern Military Course Catalog
  (written by Mike Snider and Andrew J. Schwartzberg)
  (George Woodbridge art) (33-35)
• A Mad Look at Swimming Pools (Sergio Aragones) (36-38)
• The Lighter Side of... (Dave Berg) (39-42)
• Selecting the Right High School Clique for You
  (written by Mike Snider) (43-47)
  • The Shredder Clique (Tom Bunk art)
  • The Cyber-Geek Clique (Timothy Shamey art)
  • The Stoner Clique (Leslie Sternbergh art)
  • The Rah-Rah Clique (Hermann Mejia art)
  • The God Squad Clique (R.J. Matson art)
  • The Wigger Clique (Kyle Baker art)
  • The Junior P. C. Clique (Amanda Conner art)
  • The Drama Dweeb Clique (Ray Alma art)
  • The Psycho Clique (Bill Wray art)
• Mad's Celebrity Cause-Of-Death Betting Odds:
  The Taco Bell Chihuahua
  (written by Mike Snider / Hermann Mejia art) (48)
• Fold-In -- What change to the landscape do
  environmentalists fear the most? (Al Jaffee) (C3)
• Back Cover -- The Rock Concert
  (written by Michael Gallagher / Tom Bunk art)