MAD #396 — August 2000

"If we really learned from our past mistakes, most of us would never get out of bed in the morning!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Subscriptions Ad

  Art by Roberto Parada from Special #129
  C2
• Contents Page

  Notes

  • Pull My Cheney — Employees Must Wash Hands (Tom Cheney) / Ad for MAD XL #5 — August 2000 — featuring Frank Jacobs's The MAD World of William M. Gaines — Part 5
  1–3
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.
  4–5
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine) summary
• MAD's 50 Worst Things About TV

  Written by Scott Maiko / Art by Drew Friedman

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #10 — October 2006
  6–10
• A MAD Look at Gladiators

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  11–14
• Monroe &... The High Seas — Part One

  Angster's Paradise Dept.

  Written by Anthony Barbieri / Art by Bill Wray

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #17 — September 2007
  15–18
• Quasi Rider

  Tales From the Duck Side Dept.

  Written by Arie Kaplan / Art by Don (Duck) Edwing
  19
• Johnson Family Garage Sale-O-Rama Catalog

  Slam Junk Dept.

  Written by Danno Sullivan / Art by Leslie Sternbergh

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #8 — July 2006
  20–21 sample
• Spy vs. Spy — missile in spy clothes

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Written by Dave Croatto / Art by Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • Spy Vs. Spy 2 — The Joke and Dagger Files — 2007
  22–23
• A More Factual Version of that Deceptive Home Depot Ad

  Sleuth in Advertising Dept.

  Written by Jacob Lambert / Photos by Irving Schild

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MADvertising — 2005
  • MAD Classics #14 — April 2007
  24–25
• Kathie Lee Replacements We'll Never See

  Hostess Stinkies Dept.

  Written by David Shayne and Joe Raiola / Art by Hermann Mejia
  26–29
• Little Known Contract Clauses of Today's Biggest Sports Stars

  Who Demand? You Demand! Dept.

  Art by John Caldwell
  30–31
• Tom Green — The Obnoxious Early Years

  And a Child Shall Peeve Them Dept.

  Written by Dave Croatto / Art by Sam Sisco
  32–34
• The Comics Page of L'Osservatore Romano

  Pope-Pourri Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Gary Hallgren

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD About Comic Strips — 2003
  35–37
• Letters to Magazines That We'll Never See

  Missive Impossible Dept.

  Written by Mike Snider

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #3 — November 2005
  38–39
• Words and Phrases That Left the English Language During the '90s

  Humor in a Vernacular Vein Dept.

  Written by Mike Snider / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.

  Reprinted in 4 collections

  • MAD Classics #4 — January 2006
  • Totally MAD — 2012
  • The Golden Treasury of Trash — Special Collector's Edition 2013
  • Totally Inside MAD — 2016
  40–41
• Sofa's Choice

  Tales From the Duck Side Dept.

  Don (Duck) Edwing

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • The MAD Gross Book — 2001
  42
• Angle (TV satire)

  The Vampire Strikes Back Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo / Art by Angelo Torres

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Classics #11 — November 2006
  • Horrifyingly MAD — 2011
  43–47
• MAD's Celebrity Cause-Of-Death Betting Odds: Elian Gonzalez

  Grieving Las Vegas Dept.

  Written by Mike Snider / Art by Hermann Mejia
  48
• Fold-In — Who's responsible for the ugliest acts of violence in sports today?

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Classics #15 — June 2007
  • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964–2010 — 2011
  C3
• Back Cover — The American Dream

  Written by Michael Gallagher / Art by Tom Bunk

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • The MAD Gross Book — 2001
  • MAD Classics #17 — September 2007
  C4