MAD #451 — March 2005

"Parents who complain that you're not going anywhere in life are the same ones who refuse to give you a lift to the mall!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Contents Page
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.
  2–4
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• The Fundalini Pages

  Random Acts of Mindless Dept.

  Friends of Fundalini Notes

  • "Friends of Fundalini" list of contributors not originally attached to the articles in this section: Ray Alma, John Caldwell, Tom Cheney, Dick DeBartolo, Desmond Devlin, Don (Duck) Edwing, Garth Gerhart, Gary Hallgren, Jeff Kruse, Barry Liebmann, Scott Maiko, Patrick Merrell, Kevin Pope, Mike Snider, Jack Syracuse — DETAILS

  • New Drug Warning Labels We'd Like to See — Written by Jeff Kruse
  • Pinball Legend in High Rise Death Leap
  • Classified Ads
  • Bitterman — the dropout solution (Garth Gerhart)
  • Melvin & Jenkins' Guide to Ecology — Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Kevin Pope
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD Classics #5 — February 2006
  • Constable Angus Saucington — werewolf suspect (Don (Duck) Edwing)
  • The Godfrey Report
  • Pull My Cheney! — interrogation with puppets (Tom Cheney)
  • The Cover We Didn't Use — Alfred with Trump hair — "Yuh Hired!" — Art by Ray Alma
  • Important Information For All Users of Windows XP
  • Candy Hearts For Modern Lovers
  • Celebrity Cause of Death Betting Odds — Ashlee Simpson —
    Written by Mike Snider / Art by Jack Syracuse
  • Graphic Novel Review — The Anally Complete Peanuts —
    Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Gary Hallgren — sample
    Reprinted in 1 collection

    • MAD Classics #5 — February 2006
  • The Puzzle Nook — "Never say ---ie!" (Patrick Merrell)
  6–8
• Spy vs. Spy Ad for Mountain Dew
  9
• Constant-Theme (movie satire)

  "Whoa" Be Gone Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Hermann Mejia

  Reprinted in 4 collections

  • MAD About Super Heroes — volume 2 — 2010
  • Horrifyingly MAD — 2011
  • MAD About Super Heroes — version 2.5 — 2012
  • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor — Vol. 2 — Aug/Sep 2025
  10–15
• Other Images of Religious Figures in Food Currently Being Offered on Ebay

  I Can't Believe I Ate the Holy Thing! Dept.

  Written by Joe Raiola / Art by Scott Bricher

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #5 — February 2006
  16–17
• Glaring Symptoms of Video Game Addiction

  Real Controller Freak Dept.

  John Caldwell

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • White Castle Goes MAD — 2005
  • Intensely Dumb MAD — 2013
  18–20
• Concussion-ator 3000 (ad parody)

  A Chair-Raising Experience Dept.

  Idea by Johnny Styne / Written by Dave Croatto / Photos by Irving Schild

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #5 — February 2006
  21
• The MAD World of... Kids vs. Parents

  The Generation Crap Dept.

  Written by Stan Sinberg / Art by Marc Hempel

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • White Castle Goes MAD — 2005
  • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor — Vol. 5 — September 2026
  22–24
• Duke Bissell's Tales of Undisputed Interest — internet dating

  The Wizard of Odd Dept.

  P. C. Vey
  29
• A MAD Look at Cheating

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD's Greatest Artists: Sergio Aragonés — 2010
  30–33
• William Shakespeare, Sports Commentator

  The Play-By-Play's the Thing Dept.

  Written by Frank Jacobs / Art by Mort Drucker / Photos by AP & Wide World
  34–35
• Dating Tips for the Mentally Unstable

  Courtship of Fools Dept.

  Teresa Burns Parkhurst

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #5 — February 2006
  36–38
• Monroe and... The Inheritance

  Angster's Paradise Dept.

  Written by Anthony Barbieri / Art by Bill Wray
  39–42
• Duke Bissell's Tales of Undisputed Interest — parking fines

  The Wizard of Odd Dept.

  P. C. Vey
  43
• Spy vs. Spy — battering ram met with real rams / baby carriage mousetrap

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • Spy Vs. Spy 2 — The Joke and Dagger Files — 2007
  • Spy vs. Spy — The Top Secret Files — 2011
  44–45
• Things We Definitely Won't Miss About Buying CDs

  Disc, Too, Shall Pass Dept.

  Written by Jacob Lambert / Art by Tom Bunk
  46–47
• A Sneak Peek at the ESPN3 Programming Lineup

  Any Sport in a Storm Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Peter Bagge

  Reprinted in 4 collections

  • White Castle Goes MAD — 2005
  • MAD Kids #2 — March 2006 (excerpt)
  • Insanely Awesome MAD — 2011
  • Insanely Awesome MAD — Deluxe Edition — 2014
  48–49
• Madison Avenue Smackdown! (ad parody)

  Weapons of Mascot Destruction Dept.

  Written by Arie Kaplan / Art by Francis Mao and Eric Powell

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • Insanely Awesome MAD — 2011
  • Insanely Awesome MAD — Deluxe Edition — 2014
  50–51
• One Fine Morning in Fallujah

  Letting the Cat Out of the Flag Dept.

  Idea by L.P. Ferrante / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.

  Reprinted in 5 collections

  • MAD Classics #5 — February 2006
  • The MAD War on Bush — 2007
  • Totally MAD — 2012
  • The Best of the Worst! — Special Collector's Edition 2012
  • Totally Inside MAD — 2016
  52
• Fold-In — What is the hottest new fan giveaway at sports stadiums?

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964–2010 — 2011
  C3