MAD #313 — September 1992

"The same parent who tells you it's time to find yourself will also tell you to get lost!" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Ad for Super Special November 1992
  C2
• Contents Page
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • Photo of John Hett and Christine Lalinsky dressed up as cover of #45; Ad for Subscriptions with MAD Pin Collection bonus; Ad for MAD Takes the Cake Paperback
  2–3
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine)
• The Ham That Robs the Cradle (movie satire)

  Fetal Attraction Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo / Art by Mort Drucker

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Special #129 — July 1998
  4–8
• The Outrageous Orchestral Offense

  Tales From the Duck Side Dept.

  Don (Duck) Edwing

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Color Classics #6 — September 2002
  • Epic MAD — 2012
  • Insanely Awesome MAD — Deluxe Edition — 2014
  9
• Snappy Actions to Stupid Questions

  All Jaffee Dept.

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Special #136 — April 1999
  • MAD Hodgepodge of Humor — Vol. 2 — Aug/Sep 2025
  10–11 sample
• MAD Double Features — The Sequel

  Hollywood Entwined Dept.

  Tom Hachtman

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Special #132 — November 1998
  12–14
• Spy Vs. Spy — razor through belt drops pants

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Written by Antonio Prohias / Art by Bob Clarke

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Special #125 — December 1997
  • Spy Vs. Spy — The Complete Casebook — Antonio Prohias — 2001
  • Spy Vs. Spy — Omnibus — Antonio Prohias — 2011
  15
• MAD's Cross-Section of State Lottery Winners

  The Schmuck of the Draw Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Tom Bunk

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Special #129 — July 1998
  • MAD XL #22 — July 2003
  16–17
• The Lighter Side of...

  Berg's-Eye View Dept.

  Dave Berg
  18–22
• The Devilish Decapitator's Delight

  Tales From the Duck Side Dept.

  Don (Duck) Edwing

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Special #138 — July 1999
  • The MAD Gross Book — 2001
  23
• The World's Greatest Thinkers Go to a Baseball Game

  No Runs, No Hits, Several Eras Dept.

  Written by Andrew J. Schwartzberg / Art by Mort Drucker

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Art — 2002 (excerpt)
  • MAD Color Classics #5 — April 2002
  24–25
• A MAD Look at RVs

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Special #129 — July 1998
  26–27
• MAD's Consumer Believe It or Nuts!

  An Embarrassment of Richard's Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo / Art by Bob Clarke

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Special #125 — December 1997
  • MAD #35 — February 2024
  28
• The MAD Nasty File — Volume VI

  Along the Snide Lines Dept.

  Written by Tom Koch / Art by Gerry Gersten

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD XL #20 — March 2003
  29–31
• Recycling Madonna's Old Bras

  Cup Scouting Dept.

  Paul Peter Porges

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD XL #20 — March 2003
  • MAD About the '90s — 2005
  • MAD #13 — June 2020
  32–33
• Evening Shame (TV satire)

  Reynolds Rapped Dept.

  Written by Dennis Snee / Art by Angelo Torres

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD XL #12 — November 2001
  34–38
• 10 Little Candidates

  Frank on a Roll Dept.

  Written by Frank Jacobs / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Special #115 — September 1996
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — Turd in a Series — 2003
  • The MAD Bathroom Companion — The Mother Load — 2004
  39–41
• The Bouncing Bungee Blooper

  Tales From the Duck Side Dept.

  Don (Duck) Edwing

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Special #129 — July 1998
  • MAD XL #32 — March 2005
  42
• The ABC's of Rock

  Letters Entertain You Dept.

  Written by Desmond Devlin / Art by Rick Tulka

  Reprinted in 6 collections

  • MAD Special #112 — April 1996
  • MAD Art — 2002 (excerpt)
  • MAD About the '90s — 2005
  • MAD For Decades — 2007
  • Totally MAD — 2012
  • Totally Inside MAD — 2016
  43–47
• Decide Which Alfred is King

  Male Fraud Dept.

  Idea by Christopher Allen
  48 sample
• Fold-In — What's the only way for today's youth to insure their financial stability?

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 3 collections

  • MAD Fold This Book — 1997
  • MAD Special #136 — April 1999
  • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964–2010 — 2011
  C3
• Back Cover — A TV Ad We'd Like To See — Milk. It Does a Body Good?

  Written by Dick DeBartolo / Art by C. F. Payne

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MADvertising — 2005
  C4