Mad #499 April 2009
- Cover Artist: Mark Fredrickson
- Contents Page (1)
- "Hybrid SUV's are like adult diapers-they don't really
solve anything, but they make people feel better about
the mess they're making!" -- Alfred E. Neuman
- Letters (2,4,5,8)
- Mad's 2-Question Interviews: Brian Williams, Ralph Nader, Christiane Amanpour, Bob Costas, Tiki Barber, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Chris Matthews, and John Madden
(written and photographed by Vicki Arkoff) (6)
- Sergio Aragones Drawn-Out Dramas
**various places around the magazine
- Subscription Ad - "Jeffrey Lozenge" dressed as The Riddler (written by Joe Raiola / Irving Schild photos) (9)
- The Fundalini Pages (Desmond Devlin, Evan Dorkin,
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Sarah Dyer, Drew Friedman, Garth Gerhart, Marc Hempel,
Darren Johnson, Jeff Kruse, Barry Liebmann, Kevin Pope, Sam Sisco, Ward Sutton, Jason Yungbluth)
(IMPORTANT NOTE) (10-12)
- Eerie Similarities Between Abraham Lincoln and Barack Obama
(written by Jeff Kruse / Sam Sisco art)
- The Fast 5 - Main Duties of Obama's New Chief Technology Officer
(written by Jeff Kruse / Marc Hempel art)
- The Yungbluth & The Restless - a more complex medical procedure (Jason Yungbluth)
- Melvin & Jenkins' Guide to Public Transportation
(written by Desmond Devlin / Kevin Pope art) 
- How George W. Bush Will Be Perceived by Various Americans (Drew Friedman art)
- Stories Reported by TMZ That Were Later Retracted
(written by Jeff Kruse / Evan Dorkin and Sarah Dyer art)
- Solution to Last Month's "Mini-Mystery" - pancreas with a false bottom
- The Sublime 7 - Hillary Clinton's Priorities as Secretary of State
(written by Jeff Kruse / Ward Sutton art)
- Bitterman - sick of the way his Dad treats him (Garth Gerhart)
- What The Heck is the Difference? (featuring cover #213) (13)
- Botchmen (movie satire) (written by Desmond Devlin / Tom Richmond art) (14-19)
- A Mad Look At Trade Schools (Sergio Aragones / color by Tom Luth) (20-22)
- Digital TV FAQs (written by Jeff Kruse) (23)
- The Decided Disadvantages of an Online Education (John Caldwell) (26-27)
- The Darker Side of The Lighter Side (Dave Berg originals / uncredited altered dialogue) (28-30)
- An open letter from JP CitiChaseWaCapitalMu Bank to The American People
(written by Dick DeBartolo) (31)
- Mad's Unheroic Watchmen Outtakes (32-33)
- The Story of Deathbed Donkey and the Rage of Sorrow
(written by Brian McConnachie / Rick Geary art) (34-35)
- Unabridged Sports Cliches (written by Jacob Lambert / Paul Coker, Jr. art) (36-37)
- Ad for tons of Mad merchandise (38)
- The Strip Club (39-42)
- Spy vs. Spy - last request guillotine / diving board smash (Peter Kuper) (44-45)
- President Obama - The Promise vs. The Reality
(written by Desmond Devlin / Leonardo Rodriguez and Kevin Pope art) (46-47)
- Fold-In -- A Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions snowboarding conversation (Al Jaffee) (C3)
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