MAD Magazine Recurring Features
Fake Article Titles
(seen within the Contents Pages)
in Order of Appearance in Regular Issues
The inclusion of fake article titles within the MAD regular issue contents pages appears to have its origins in the June 1999 issue #382, with few interruptions occurring from then to the present day.
Department headings related to these titles were a Master class in good bad pun writing that fit the format for the “real” articles we know and love.
Some were obviously fake, others hard to tell. In many cases I think I would have enjoyed many of the fake articles based on the titles.
Personal favorite from #532, April 2015: STOP AND SMELL THE MOSES DEPARTMENT — MAD's Scratch 'N Sniff Bible
Please, please let us know if you come across any earlier ones we may have missed!
| Fake Department | Fake Article Title | Page # | Actual Page Article | Issue / Date |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Mock-A-Doodle Doo Department | The MAD People Watcher's Guide to a Cockfight | 31 | The Lighter Side of… | 382 — Jun 1999 |
| Son Of A Milosevic Department | Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions During the Bombing of Belgrade | 35 | The Lighter Side of… | 383 — Jul 1999 |
| Rash Hour Department | The MAD Salve, Ointment and Balm Primer | 31 | Unspoken Rules of Double Dating | 384 — Aug 1999 |
| This Gland Is Your Gland Department | What Your Urologist Says… What He Really Means | 31 | MAD's Guide to Telling the Difference Between Pro Wrestling, Jerry Springer and Politics | 385 — Sep 1999 |
| Turning Geria-Tricks Department | You Know Your Grandmother's a Hooker When | 43 | The Lighter Side of… | 386 — Oct 1999 |
| Rock A Bye-Bye Baby Department | You Know Your Parents Have Sold You For Crack Money When… | 26 | MAD Regurgitates the 20th Century — 1960-1969 | 387 — Nov 1999 |
| Much Perdue About Nothing Department | If It Tastes Like Chicken, Then How Come…? | 41 | The Lighter Side of… | 388 — Dec 1999 |
| Born Oozers Department | It's a Pustule… It's a Fever Blister… It's a Canker Sore… | 47 | MAD's Political Christmas Carols | 389 — Jan 2000 |
| The Gettysburg Undress Department | If Lap Dancing Existed in the Age of Lincoln | 29 | The Lighter Side of… | 390 — Feb 2000 |
| Bedrock The Vote Department | If Cavemen Held Political Primaries | 42 | Which Webcam Is It? | 391 — Mar 2000 |
| Babez N The Sainthood Department | If Mother Teresa Was a Gangster Rapper | 35 | Half Fact / Whole Fact | 392 — Apr 2000 |
| The Bus Stops Here Department | Only the Assistant Undersecretary of Transportation Would Possibly Believe… | 28 | All-New Even Yet Still More Badly Needed Warning Labels for Rock Albums | 393 — May 2000 |
| Half Past 10 Pin Department | Bowling Shoes to Match Time Zones — A MAD Exposé | 33 | The Lighter Side of… | 394 — Jun 2000 |
| The Tickle Finger Of Fate Department | A Peek Inside the Dumpster Behind the Proctology Clinic | 35 | The Lighter Side of… | 395 — Jul 2000 |
| Needy Gonzalez Department | Martha Stewart Redecorates Elian's Relatives' Home After the Raid | 37 | The Comics Page of L'Osservatore Romano — The Vatican Newspaper | 396 — Aug 2000 |
| The Choker's Wild Department | If Bobby Knight Coached the Special Olympics | 41 | The Lighter Side of… | 397 — Sep 2000 |
| Liver La Vida Loca Department | Who's Who at a Botched Organ Transplant Operation | 31 | The Lighter Side of… | 398 — Oct 2000 |
| Behind The Irrigate Ball Department | If They Can Make a Disposable Douche, Then Why Can't They… | 35 | The Presidential Candidate's Choose Your Own Adventure Book | 399 — Nov 2000 |
| I've Grown A Custard To Your Face Department | MAD's 8 Sure-Fire Signs It Ain't Pudding | 35 | The Lighter Side of… | 400 — Dec 2000 |
| Merry XXXmas Department | Santa Claus, Porn Star | 41 | The Lighter Side of… | 401 — Jan 2001 |
| Slopey Seconds Department | MAD's Grand Plan for Converting Cemeteries into Ski Resorts | 35 | 6 Degrees of Separation Between Anyone and Anything — Part V | 402 — Feb 2001 |
| Angio-Plasticman Department | Dick Cheney Electrocardiograms We'd Like to See | 40 | Home Despot Sales Circular | 403 — Mar 2001 |
| Powder To The People Department | MAD Presents Some Overlooked Situations Where It Pays To Have a Good Talc | 41 | The Lighter Side of… | 404 — Apr 2001 |
| Wee The People Department | The MAD Urinary Tract Infection Primer | 33 | The Lighter Side of… | 405 — May 2001 |
| You're Nobody 'til Somebody Clubs You Department | A MAD Look at Baby Seal Hunting | 41 | The Lighter Side of… | 406 — Jun 2001 |
| Between A Spock And A Hard Place Department | A MAD Peek Behind the Scenes at a Trekkie Orgy | 40 | MAD's Complete Guide to Shipping Your Aging Relative Off to a Nursing Home | 407 — Jul 2001 |
| Mennonite Of The Living Dead Department | If the Amish Used Zombies to Do Their Chores | 47 | The Shoddier Image Catalog | 408 — Aug 2001 |
| Inca Dinka Boom Department | You Know There's A Peruvian Terrorist In Your Bathroom When… | 36 | The Lighter Side of… | 409 — Sep 2001 |
| Peter Parker Picked a Pack of Peculiar People Department | The Spiderman Movie: Fun Family Fare or Scientology Propaganda! | 40 | The Lighter Side of… | 410 — Oct 2001 |
| Socket To Me Department | What's Behind Grandpa's Eye Patch? | 44 | The 25 Least Powerful People in Show Business | 411 — Nov 2001 |
| The Pins Of The Father Department | If The Vatican Had a Bowling Team | 37 | The Lighter Side of… | 412 — Dec 2001 |
| Have Your Primate and Eat It Too Department | How Many Mistakes Can You Find in This Picture of a Monkey Hunt? | 40 | The MAD 20 Dumbest… of 2001 | 413 — Jan 2002 |
| Row Vs. Wade Department | MAD Explores When to Take the Kayak and When to Swim | 40 | The MAD 20 Dumbest… of 2001 | 414 — Feb 2002 |
| Cereal Killers Department | What if Capt. Crunch Was Brought Before a Military Tribunal? | 35 | The Lighter Side of… | 415 — Mar 2002 |
| Nanny Get Your Gun Department | When Goats Go Bad | 40 | A MAD Look at The Lord of the Rings | 416 — Apr 2002 |
| Fourscore and 7 & 5/8 Ago Department | What if Lincoln Wore a Fez? | 31 | The Lighter Side of… | 417 — May 2002 |
| The Gays of Our Lives Department | 58 Reasons Why Rosie O'Donnell Should Go Back in the Closet | 37 | The Lighter Side of… | 418 — Jun 2002 |
| When Priests Meet Jest Department | When the Catholic Sex Scandal Spreads to the Sunday Comics | 38 | A MAD Look at Waterparks | 419 — Jul 2002 |
| Who's Your Caddy Department | A MAD Look at Paternity Suits on the PGA Tour | 43 | MAD Scans the Human Body | 420 — Aug 2002 |
| The Gift Of Scab Department | Sure Fire Signs Your Boil Isn't Healing Properly | 33 | The Lighter Side of… | 421 — Sep 2002 |
| If Cooks Could Kill Department | MAD Presents 50 Things Guaranteed to Blow Up Your Microwave | 40 | MAD's Comprehensive 10-Step Guide to Success in the Highly Charged World of Illegal Ticket Scalping | 422 — Oct 2002 |
| A Wound With A View Department | MAD Picks at Celebrity Scabs | 49 | The Lighter Side of… | 423 — Nov 2002 |
| After Dinner Lint Department | When Laundromats Offer Hors D'oeuvres | 35 | How the Economic Recession is Affecting Certain Fringe Businesses | 424 — Dec 2002 |
| Pope Fiction Department | If Quentin Tarantino Ran the Vatican | 29 | A MAD Look at Golf | 425 — Jan 2003 |
| Squirrel, Interrupted Department | MAD's Rhyming Guide to Roadkill | 34 | MAD Deconstructs TV Talk Shows… This Month: The O'Reilly Factor | 426 — Feb 2003 |
| Ku Klux Klam Department | If Trent Lott Had a Shellfish Allergy | 30 | MAD Artists Pay Tribute to The Lighter Side of… | 427 — Mar 2003 |
| Friar In The Hole! Department | When Clergymen Get Stuck Down Wells | 35 | Disposable Camera Wedding Photos That Didn't Make the Album | 428 — Apr 2003 |
| Blix Are For Kids Department | When the U.N. Sends Inspectors to Michael Jackson's Neverland | 38 | Spy Vs. Spy Vs. Spy | 429 — May 2003 |
| Wolf Blintzes Department | What If CNN Merged With The Food Network? | 38 | MAD Deconstructs TV Talk Shows… This Month: The View | 430 — Jun 2003 |
| Don't Touch That Vial Department | If the PBS Pledge Drive Was Run by Crackheads | 41 | Monroe and… The Big Apple | 431 — Jul 2003 |
| Circus of the SARS Department | A Peek Behind The Scenes at Barnum & Bailey's Tour of China | 38 | Outtakes from: Charlie's Angels Full Throttle | 432 — Aug 2003 |
| It Was An Honor Just To Be Dominated Department | MAD's Look at Oscar-Winning Fetish Films | 35 | Cents-Less Coupons — Your Money-Saving Circular | 433 — Sep 2003 |
| Dungeons And Dagwoods Department | Torture Techniques for Comic Strip Characters | 39 | Spy vs Spy | 434 — Oct 2003 |
| Monkey Pee, Monkey Poo Department | 101 Uses for Zoological Waste | 48 | A MAD Look at Fashion | 435 — Nov 2003 |
| Getting Your Plymouth Rocks Off Department | If The Pilgrims Had Access to Internet Porn | 45 | The On-Screen/Off-Screen Videogame Sound Effects Comparison Guide | 436 — Dec 2003 |
| The Croak's On You Department | Assisted Suicide Knock-Knock Jokes | 54 | Monroe and… The Presidency | 437 — Jan 2004 |
| The Butt Stops Here Department | MAD's Celebrity Colonoscopies | 33 | The League of Rejected Superheroes | 438 — Feb 2004 |
| This Old Douse Department | If Home Improvement Shows Turned to Arson | 35 | Rock Solid Indications You Are Too Old for the Goth Lifestyle | 439 — Mar 2004 |
| Custer's Last Fruit Stand Department | If Notable Generals Worked at a Farmer's Market | 37 | Monroe and… Survivor Jr. Part 3 | 440 — Apr 2004 |
| The Bridle Party Department | When Massachusetts Allows Horses to Marry | 39 | Outtakes from: Survivor All-Stars | 441 — May 2004 |
| 1600 Transylvania Ave. Department | What If John Kerry Picked Dracula as His Running Mate? | 39 | MAD Ranks the Top Celebrity Prisons | 442 — Jun 2004 |
| You're Expired! Department | What If Omarosa Dated O.J. Simpson? | 40 | Monroe and… Grandpa's Last Ride | 443 — Jul 2004 |
| Plaque To The Future Department | If Dentists Could Time Travel | 42 | Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions | 444 — Aug 2004 |
| Poop And Circumstance Department | When Laxatives Go Bad | 40 | MAD's 50 Worst Things About Comedy | 445 — Sep 2004 |
| The Passion Of The Mice Department | If Mel Gibson Had Directed Stuart Little | 44 | Monroe and… Europe Part Three | 446 — Oct 2004 |
| Roebuck V. Wade Department | What If Sears Offered Family Planning? | 47 | Real Ad for The Simpsons Christmas Village | 447 — Nov 2004 |
| Dude, Where's My Carb? Department | If Ashton Kutcher Went on The Atkins Diet | 43 | A MAD Look at Fear Factor | 448 — Dec 2004 |
| Hook, Federline And Sinker Department | If Britney Spears' Husband Had a Fly-fishing Show | 50 | A MAD Look at New Year's | 449 — Jan 2005 |
| Canine Innings Department | A Preview of the New Dog Baseball League | 46 | Outtakes from: Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events | 450 — Feb 2005 |
| Whittle Me This, Batman Department | What if Christian Bale Took Up Wood Carving? | 42 | Monroe and… The Inheritance | 451 — Mar 2005 |
| Letters And Tornados Department | Random Samplings of Reader Mail From Midwest Trailer Parks | 2 | Letters and Tomatoes Department | 452 — Apr 2005 |
| No Lime Or Reason Department | MAD Ranks the 10 Most Irrational Citrus Fruits | 6 | The Fundalini Pages | 452 — Apr 2005 |
| A Kite At The End Of The Tunnel Department | MAD Examines Some Classic Picnic-Related Train Wrecks | 10 | Limited Thickwit's A Series of Uneventful Misfortunes | 452 — Apr 2005 |
| Shooting From The Replacement Hip Department | A MAD Peek Behind the Scenes at the AARP Skeet Competition | 14 | Real Ad for Spy vs Spy XBox Game | 452 — Apr 2005 |
| Tide And Prejudice Department | Your Oceanographer Might Be a Bigot if… | 18 | A MAD Peek Behind the Scenes at Celebrity Poker Showdown | 452 — Apr 2005 |
| Def Traffic Jam Department | Russell Simmons' Tips for Avoiding Gridlock | 25 | Real Ad for MechAssault 2: Lone Wolf | 452 — Apr 2005 |
| Rubbing You The Thong Way Department | MAD's Funny-But-True Yeast Infection Stories | 28 | Real Ad for MechAssault 2: Lone Wolf | 452 — Apr 2005 |
| When Bush Comes To Shovel Department | What if The President Moonlighted Plowing Snow? | 32 | Repeat the Fock-Ups | 452 — Apr 2005 |
| Joke And Jagger Department | Spy Vs. The Rolling Stones | 35 | Dan Rather's Final News Broadcast | 452 — Apr 2005 |
| Serge-in Benadryl Department | A MAD Look at Pollen Allergies | 38 | A MAD Look at Bullies | 452 — Apr 2005 |
| On The Rodent To Recovery Department | The Wacky Misadventures of Therapist Squirrel | 42 | MAD's Minute-By-Minute Breakdown of a Typical Red-Carpet Pre-Awards Show | 452 — Apr 2005 |
| Margarine Thinking Department | “Drawn Out Butter” by Sergio Aragones | various | “Drawn Out Dramas” by Sergio Aragonés | 452 — Apr 2005 |
| Heaven Can Weightlift Department | What if Priests Used Steroids | 38 | The 25 Least Powerful People in Sports | 453 — May 2005 |
| Hanging New Wallpapal Department | Trading Spaces at the Vatican | 38 | Disposable Camera Prom Photos that Didn't Make the Album | 454 — Jun 2005 |
| Droid Rage Department | If Mark McGwire Was a Robot | 34 | Monroe and… Therapy | 455 — Jul 2005 |
| 12-Year-Old Angry Men Department | A Peek Inside the Michael Jackson Jury Room | 42 | Monroe and… Summer Break | 456 — Aug 2005 |
| Queer Eye For The Hate Guy Department | More Neo-Nazi Makeovers We'd Like to See | 43 | Monroe and… Summer School | 457 — Sep 2005 |
| Drama Sutra Department | Favorite Sexual Positions as Chosen by Shakespearean Scholars | 28 | A MAD Look at School Security | 458 — Oct 2005 |
| Soapy's Choice Department | The Startling Differences Between Washcloths and Loofahs | 41 | Spy vs Spy | 459 — Nov 2005 |
| Fat's Entertainment! Department | A MAD Portfolio of Celebrity Liposuction Scars | 43 | A MAD Look at Cell Phones | 460 — Dec 2005 |
| Partial Mirth Department | The Pro-Lifer's Practical Joke Handbook | 21 | Monroe and… The Miracle Cream Part II | 461 — Jan 2006 |
| Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Meth Department | What If Patrick Henry Was a Speed Freak | 31 | Monroe and… The Dream Date | 462 — Feb 2006 |
| Return To Slender Department | You Know It's Time For Your Mailman to Get Gastric Bypass Surgery When… | 38 | Go Fetch! | 463 — Mar 2006 |
| Dance, Dance Evolution Department | What If Charles Darwin Had Designed Videogames? | 34 | A MAD Look at The Prom | 464 — Apr 2006 |
| Mind Over Bladder Department | MAD's Guide for Incontinent Psychics | 34 | The NBA from A to Z | 465 — May 2006 |
| Leaving Positive Feedbag Department | What If Horses Sold on eBay? | 42 | Go Fetch! | 466 — Jun 2006 |
| Hive And Seek Department | MAD's Guide to Identifying Rashes and Other Skin Eruptions | 40 | A MAD Look at Fishing | 467 — Jul 2006 |
| Would You Like Thighs With That? Department | What if McDonald's Offered a Cannibal-Friendly Menu? | 48 | Real Ad for Dew Action Sports Tour | 468 — Aug 2006 |
| Clay Achin' Department | The Most Common Injuries Suffered by Wallace & Gromit | 40 | The DMV Road Test for the Real World | 470 — Oct 2006 |
| Incontinental Airlines Department | A MAD Guide to Liquids You Can Still Take on Jet Flights | 52 | Liberals and Conservatives Agree… and Disagree | 471 — Nov 2006 |
| An Inconvenient Booth Department | MAD Examines History's Least-Practical Diner Layouts | 40 | Monroe &… The Army Part I | 472 — Dec 2006 |
| Give Me Ribbity Or Give Me Death Department | When the Right to Vote is Extended to Frogs | 43 | Monroe &… The Army Part II | 473 — Jan 2007 |
| Tyrannosaurus Hex Department | What if Dinosaurs Dabbled in Voodoo? | 32 | Monroe &… The School Dance | 474 — Feb 2007 |
| Fiddler On The Roofie Department | If Someone Slipped Something into Itzhak Perlman's Drink | 37 | Monroe &… The New Grillz | 475 — Mar 2007 |
| Bris Congeniality Department | MAD Looks at the Nation's Friendliest Mohels | 31 | Monroe &… The Big Freeze | 476 — Apr 2007 |
| Subordinate Claus Department | What if Kris Kringle Were Into S&M? | 29 | Monroe &… The New Kid | 477 — May 2007 |
| The Clot Thickens Department | Conspiracy Theories About Vice President Dick Cheney's Health | 26 | Monroe &… Cruelty Free | 478 — Jun 2007 |
| Turning Back The Cluck Department | What if Chickens Could Time Travel? | 33 | Monroe &… Harry Potter | 479 — Jul 2007 |
| The Incontinental Congress Department | What if Politicians Wore Adult Diapers? | 35 | A MAD Look at Spider-Man 3 | 480 — Aug 2007 |
| The Devil Wears Nada Department | If The Satanic Church Opened a Nudist Colony | 37 | Real Ad for AST Dew Tour | 481 — Sep 2007 |
| Chocolate Rain Of Terror Department | What if Tay Zonday Made it to the Finals of American Idol? | 35 | Monroe &… The Summer Job Part 2 | 482 — Oct 2007 |
| The Booth Fairy Department | A Peek Behind the Scenes at the Minneapolis Airport Men's Room | 36 | Real Ad for AST Dew Tour | 483 — Nov 2007 |
| Wettysburg Address Department | What if Abraham Lincoln Were Incontinent? | 484 — Dec 2007 | ||
| Pasta La Vista, Baby Department | What if Arnold Schwarzenegger Was a Waiter at The Olive Garden? | 47 | A MAD Look at Dancing with the Stars | 485 — Jan 2008 |
| Violence Of The Lambs Department | What if Farm Animals Had the Right to Bear Arms? | 44 | MAD Ad for Absolutely MAD | 486 — Feb 2008 |
| Wham, Bam, Thank You, Ham Department | What if Boar's Head Ran a Bordello? | 40 | A MAD Look at Halo | 487 — Mar 2008 |
| Frodo-Shop Department | What if Hobbits Were Graphic Designers? | 32 | A MAD Look at Doctors | 489 — May 2008 |
| Optimus Prime Rib Department | What if Transformers Worked as Butchers? | 30 | Monroe and… Evolution | 490 — Jun 2008 |
| Unidentified Dying Objects Department | MAD's Hospice Bingo | 36 | Monroe and… Teen Obesity | 491 — Jul 2008 |
| The Good Tumor Man Department | What if the Ice Cream Guy Suddenly Had a Benign Growth? | 39 | A MAD Look at This Summer's Super Heroes | 492 — Aug 2008 |
| Hitting The Snail On The Head Department | What if Slugs Fought in Mixed Martial Arts Competitions? | 30 | Monroe and… The New Phone | 493 — Sep 2008 |
| The Blizzard Of Oz Department | What if the Yellow Brick Road was Closed Due to Snow? | 28 | The Darker Side Of… The Lighter Side | 494 — Oct 2008 |
| Why So Sirius? Department | What if the Joker Became the President of a Satellite Radio Company? | 35 | Monroe and… Domestic Terror | 495 — Nov 2008 |
| Feel Or No Feel? Department | 10 Signs You May Be a Rush-Hour Subway Groper | 40 | The Darker Side Of… The Lighter Side | 496 — Dec 2008 |
| Porky Jig Department | If There Were an All-Swine Production of Riverdance | 48 | A MAD Look at Hard Times | 497 — Jan 2009 |
| Little Blouse On The Prairie Department | MAD Examines Cross-Dressing in the Old West | 36 | The MAD World of Pets | 498 — Feb 2009 |
| Horton Hears A Ho Department | What If Dr. Seuss Wrote Porn? | 42 | The Strip Club | 499 — Apr 2009 |
| Unlimited Tights And Weekends Department | What if Acrobats Ran the Cell Phone Companies? | 40 | The Strip Club | 500 — Jun 2009 |
| Spanx-Giving Department | MAD's Control-Top Hosiery Shopping Guide | 18 | The Big Bomb Theory | 503 — May 2010 |
| Release the Wise-Crackin' Department | What if Don Rickles Starred in Clash of the Titans? | 35 | The Strip Club | 504 — Aug 2010 |
| Testicular Homicide Department | What to Expect When You're Expecting to be Castrated | 46 | The Darker Side Of… The Lighter Side | 505 — Oct 2010 |
| Kindle In The Wind Department | What if Elton John Sang at Jeff Bezos' Funeral? | 34 | The MAD World of Fashion | 506 — Dec 2010 |
| I Pity The Gruel Department | What if Mr. T Ran an Orphanage? | 16 | Harry Plodder and It's Dreadful What Follows | 507 — Feb 2011 |
| Mind Over Bladder Department | What if Everyone in Mensa Suffered from Incontinence? | 19 | What We Really Learned from WikiLeaks | 508 — Apr 2011 |
| A Hardened Dictator Department | What if Qaddafi Took Viagra? | 23 | The Strip Club | 509 — Jun 2011 |
| The Boxers Rebellion Department | What If All Men Were Required to Wear Tighty Whities? | 37 | The Strip Club | 510 — Aug 2011 |
| A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind Department | What's NJ Governor Chris Christie Eating Now? | 21 | Dictators Next to be Overthrown | 511 — Oct 2011 |
| Never Judge A Hook By Its Cover Department | MAD Asks: What If Pirates Wore Gloves? | 39 | Punitive Damages | 512 — Dec 2011 |
| The Prof is in the Pudding Department | What if Universities Had a “Jell-o Wrestling” Major? | 32 | The MAD 20 Dumbest of 2011 | 513 — Feb 2012 |
| Spine-Spine-Spine Department | What if Herman Cain Became a Chiropractor? | 51 | A MAD Look at the Filthy Rich | 514 — Apr 2012 |
| Words With Bends Department | Playing Scrabble with Inexperienced Scuba Divers | 51 | The 50 Worst Things About America | 515 — Jun 2012 |
| Did He Leaf A Note? Department | Signs that Your Houseplant has Committed Suicide | 46 | The Strip Club | 516 — Aug 2012 |
| Absence Of Mallets Department | Signs You're at a Cut-Rate Croquet Tournament | 53 | Real Ad for MAD on Kindle/Nook | 517 — Oct 2012 |
| Minstrel Cramps Department | MAD Examines Common Lute Injuries | 20 | The Toilet Saga | 518 — Dec 2012 |
| The Boy Who Cried Wolf Blitzer Department | CNN-Themed Cautionary Fables | 8 | The Fundalini Pages | 519 — Feb 2013 |
| Fifty Shades Of Bray Department | MAD Examines the Best in Erotic Donkey Fiction | 36 | A MAD Look at Washington | 520 — Apr 2013 |
| Rest In Fleece Department | MAD Revisits the Funeral of Eddie Bauer | 42 | The MAD Vault | 521 — Jun 2013 |
| America's Got Talons Department | What If Vultures Had Their Own Reality Show? | 24 | A MAD Look at The Internet | 522 — Aug 2013 |
| The Rodent Less Traveled Department | Touring America's Rural Backroads With a Squirrel Chauffeur | 42 | The Strip Club | 523 — Oct 2013 |
| Beef Twerky Department | What if Miley Cyrus Worked in a Slaughterhouse? | 33 | A MAD Look at Ethnic Restaurants | 524 — Dec 2013 |
| The Apes Of Math Department | When Primates Learn Calculus | 32 | A MAD Look at Gravity | 526 — Apr 2014 |
| The Hurt Flocker Department | The 10 Most Common Shepherding Injuries | 46 | Real Ad for digital MAD magazine back issues | 527 — Jun 2014 |
| Game Of Scones Department | What if HBO's Shows Starred Baked Goods? | 21 | Planet Tad!!!!! | 528 — Aug 2014 |
| Pails In Comparison Department | MAD's Consumer Guide to Buying a Garbage Can | 33 | Real Ad for MAD books | 529 — Oct 2014 |
| The Ice Puckett Challenge Department | What if Deceased Minnesota Twins Stars Were Cryogenically Frozen? | 37 | The MAD Vault | 530 — Dec 2014 |
| Inaccurate Conception Department | You Know There's Been a Mix-up at the Sperm Bank When… | 34 | Real Ad for MAD books | 531 — Feb 2015 |
| Stop and Smell the Moses Department | MAD's Scratch 'N Sniff Bible | 24 | The Darker Side Of… The Lighter Side | 532 — Apr 2015 |
| Planet Of The Grapes Department | Signs That Your Sommelier is a Chimpanzee | 16 | Pages From Weird Al's Notebook | 533 — Jun 2015 |
| Orange Is The New Quack Department | What if Daffy and Donald Duck Went to Prison? | 26 | When Minions Go Really, Really Bad | 534 — Aug 2015 |
| Arroz By Any Other Name Department | Famous Odes to Spanish Side Dishes | 33 | The Strip Club | 535 — Oct 2015 |
| Straight Out Of Comp. Lit Department | What If Some of the World's Greatest Writers Were Rappers? | 32 | A MAD Look at Beer | 536 — Dec 2015 |
| The Nog of War Department | MAD Examines the Pentagon's Favorite Christmas Beverage | 32 | The MAD 20 Dumbest of 2015 | 537 — Feb 2016 |
| The Hateful Bait Department | Tell-Tale Signs That Worms are Trying to Kill You | 49 | The Hunger Pains: Much Delay, Parts 1 & 2 | 538 — Apr 2016 |
| Prawn With The Wind Department | When Classic Films are Recast With Sea Creatures | 24 | A MAD Look at Man Caves | 539 — Jun 2016 |
| Low Man on the Scrotum-Pole Department | Vasectomies Through History | 24 | Donald Trump vs. The Bible | 540 — Aug 2016 |
| Anemone Of The State Department | What if Sea Life Militarized? | 47 | A MAD Look at Coffee | 541 — Oct 2016 |
| #Squadfoals Department | What if Taylor Swift and Her Friends Took Up Horse Breeding? | 54 | A MAD Look at New York | 542 — Dec 2016 |
| Make America Grate Again Department | When Congress is Influenced by the Parmesan Lobby | 18 | Real Ad for MAD on Magzter | 543 — Feb 2017 |
| Wide And Prejudice Department | MAD Examines America's Fattest Bigot | 38 | One Miserable Day in North Dakota | 544 — Apr 2017 |
| Yakety Yak Department | If Wild Oxen Could Talk | 50 | Decimated Survivor | 545 — Jun 2017 |
| True Grits Department | MAD Examines the Histories of Famous Side Dishes | 10 | The Fundalini Pages | 546 — Aug 2017 |
| To Chill A Mockingbird Department | MAD's Guide to Exotic Frozen Treats | 39 | An Airline Carriers' Service Pledge | 547 — Oct 2017 |
| Fake Nudes Department | If Donald Trump Was a Porn Star | 27 | The Strip Club | 548 — Dec 2017 |
| The Scarlet Sweater Department | MAD's Guide to Shameful Winter Attire | 37 | Projectile Vomit Baby Through History | 549 — Feb 2018 |
| Urine The Money Department | MAD Interviews the Incontinent Banker of the Year | 25 | Workers We'd Like to Go a Day Without | 550 — Apr 2018 |
| Where's Waldo's Rotting Corpse? (Post-Nuclear Apocalypse Edition) | 42 | Starchie Reconstituted / Riverdull | 1 — Jun 2018 | |
| Map of the Scars: A Guide to Celebs' Botched Surgeries | 41 | When Women Take Over Hollywood | 2 — Aug 2018 | |
| Under or Over Your Underpants? MAD's Guide to the Perfect T-shirt Tuck | 34 | The Lighter Side of Self-Involvement | 3 — Oct 2018 | |
| How Batshit Can Make You Crazy | 27 | Spy vs Spy | 4 — Dec 2018 | |
| Equal Time: The NRA's Edward Gorey Parody | 12 | Real Ad for MAD Magazine | 5 — Feb 2019 | |
| The MAD Guide to Proust | 39 | The Lighter Side of Hooking Up | 6 — Apr 2019 | |
| A Cinematic Masterpiece: Celebrating the 20th Anniversary of American Pie | 39 | The Lighter Side of Fear | 7 — Jun 2019 | |
| “This Is Not My Beautiful Knife” and Other Flowery Expressions to Avoid Prosecution | 45 | Political Action Figures | 8 — Aug 2019 | |
| The Brown Note Department | Can You Look at This Image Without Soiling Yourself? | 34 | The Monotonous Mrs. Mazel | 9 — Oct 2019 |
| ZAGAT Guide to the Best I.C.E. Detention Centers | 51 | The Lobbyist | 10 — Dec 2019 | |
| Snappy Impeachments for Stupid Presidents | 9 | A MAD Look at New Year's Resolutions | 11 — Feb 2020 | |
| A Bag of Fleas' Perspective on Fleabag | 30 | MAD's Reality Street | 12 — Apr 2020 | |
| The Sound of Breaking Wind: Is it Music? | 19 | Eminem | 13 — Jun 2020 | |
| One Size Fits Al: A MAD Catalog of Jaffee's Jeans | 25 | Bullbit | 14 — Aug 2020 | |
| The Potrzebie System for Starting an Autonomous Zone | 41 | Bat Boy and Rubin! | 15 — Oct 2020 | |
| Shartnado | 35 | Eccchh, Teenage Son of Thing | 16 — Dec 2020 | |
| Sergio Aragónés' Water Ballet Workout Tips | 39 | A MAD Peek Behind the Scenes at a Fancy Restaurant | 17 — Feb 2021 | |
| Extreme Home Makeover with Alexa & Siri: Big Brother Edition | 40 | A MAD Peek Behind the Scenes at the Making of Austin Powers — The Spy Who Shagged Me | 18 — Apr 2021 | |
| MAD's 2021 Fashion Prediction: Sadly Seers See Seersucker Style Swing Soon | 37 | What Will It Be Like When Every Device “Talks” | 19 — Jun 2021 | |
| Hollywood Insider: Kong Jealous of Godzilla's Walk of Fame Star | 43 | King Korn! | 20 — Aug 2021 | |
| MAD's Golfing Tips for the Moon: How to Make a Bunker Shot in 1/6 Gravity | 24 | A MAD Look at Basketball | 21 — Oct 2021 | |
| The Dog Whisperer: Cujo Episode: The Whispering Stops | 54 | The Calamityville Horror | 22 — Dec 2021 | |
| Five Facts That Prove Batboy is Bruce Wayne's Illegitimate Love Child | 50 | The Lighter Side of Crime in the Streets | 23 — Feb 2022 | |
| Urine Trouble: What Your Pets Really Do While You Sleep | 32 | Willies | 24 — Apr 2022 | |
| Benjamin Franklin vs. Shazam! Debate: The Positives and Negatives of Lightning | 53 | A MAD Look at Superheroes Uniting | 25 — Jun 2022 | |
| Charmin NFTP Wipes Up with Cryptocurrency Commodes | 25 | A MAD Look at our Consumer Society | 26 — Aug 2022 | |
| Clairvoyant Cooking with The Amazing Criswell: Mastering Medium Steak Grilling with Your Mind | 50 | Spy vs. Spy | 27 — Oct 2022 | |
| Horrifying Crochets | 27 | MAD's Avalanche O' Catalogs | 28 — Dec 2022 | |
| 12 Other Uses for Leftover Mashed Potatoes in the Bedroom | 18 | The 50 Worst Things About Food | 29 — Feb 2023 | |
| Tales from the Encrypt Keeper: Breaking the Fourth Firewall | 38 | MAD's 50 Worst Things About the Internet | 30 — Apr 2023 | |
| “Can You Hold?” True Stories of Urology Receptionists | 32 | A MAD Look at Alternative Medicine | 31 — Jun 2023 | |
| Time Travel Tips: Should You Use Valet Parallel Universe Parking? | 19 | A MAD Peek Behind the Scenes of a National Park | 32 — Aug 2023 | |
| MAD's First Shave Razor Burn: If Satan went bald would there be Hell toupee? | 24 | The Raven | 33 — Oct 2023 | |
| MADical Mystery Department | Scrabble Champion Hospitalized After Consonant Vowel Movements | 9 | A MAD Look at Lego | 34 — Dec 2023 |
| Advice on How to Become a Great Velcro Vendor: Stick With it and Don't get Ripped Off | 48 | Trademark Graffiti | 35 — Feb 2024 | |
| Romance Is Dead Department | Why Shovels Are the Must-have Item This Valentine's Day | 49 | A MAD History of Sex | 36 — Apr 2024 |
| I'll Be Here All Weak Department | I Once Bought a Hat for My Leg. It Was a Kneecap. | 44 | The Monotonous Mrs. Mazel | 37 — Jun 2024 |
| Heatstroke Joke Department | What Do You Call a Librarian with a Sunburn? Well Red. | 47 | Babewatch | 38 — Aug 2024 |
| Alien Autopsy Department | What do you call an alien with a heart condition? An extra cholesterol. | 48 | A MAD Look at Alien Abductions | 39 — Oct 2024 |
| Swing States: They Sound More Fun Than They Are! | 20 | The Fascist & The Feeblest | 40 — Dec 2024 | |
| Pretty Slick Department | Your Guide to Robot-Safe Lubricants | 39 | Let's Humanize Those Automated Machines | 41 — Feb 2025 |
| Laser-Tag Hair Removal: Fun Way to De-Fuzz, or Gravely Dangerous? | 20 | The Schlubstance | 42 — Apr 2025 | |
| Slice, Burn, Squirt, Blurt: TV's Top Chef Injuries | 26 | Storage Boors | 43 — Jun 2025 | |
| Spit Take: How to Create an Authentic Superman Curl | 39 | Supergall | 44 — Aug 2025 | |
| Bill Nye and the Séance Guy: Look Who's Espoused Science for the Spirits | 40 | Has Your Food Been Genetically Altered? | 45 — Oct 2025 | |
| Family Phew: Breathing Exercises That Keep You from Strangling Your Loved Ones | 12 | Alfred E. Neuman's Family Tree | 46 — Dec 2025 | |
| The Tooter Commuter: Carpooling with a Gassy Coworker | 27 | Irreverence (TV satire) | 47 — Feb 2026 | |
| “Let's Make it Interesting”: How One Fun Phrase Can Lead to Financial Ruin | 40 | Thanks to the Popularity of Poker… | 48 — Apr 2026 | |
| Pens, Lint, Liquor, Crumbs: Things Found in a Talk Show Host's Desk…or David Letterman's Beard | 7 | The 38 Worst Things About Late Night TV! | 49 — Jun 2026 | |
| Bottoms Up: Toasting the Least Tasteful Nudes in MAD Through the Years | 26 | Don Martin's Guide to Some Very Obscure Comics Sound Effects | 600 — Aug 2026 | |
| Creature from the Blecch Reflecting Pool | 30 | MAD's Tom Bunk Goes to Hell | 601 — Oct 2026 |